What We Are
by ElizabethSciuto
Summary: The Fourth Story in the Mcabby Family Series. With two girls and another baby on the way there's a lot going on in the Mcgee household and the family has to learn the true meaning of love when tragedy strikes.
1. Getting Back Together

**Hello.** Ziva signed to Anastasia as she walked into the kitchen where the young girl was gently rocking her daughter in her arms.

**Hey Ziva. **She signed back, slightly losing her grip on Sienna. "Maybe speaking out loud is a better option for this situation…"

Ziva smirked. "Just be careful." She said before going over to the fridge. She stopped as she got to the door and turned back around. "Your mom asked about you again today."

Anastasia sighed. "How is she?"

"She misses you sweetie. Maybe it's time you go home." She suggested.

Anastasia shook her head. "I've never been as happy as I am here. It's been so nice not having to awkwardly avoid having a conversation with my sister that neither of us want to have."

"Stace you've got to think about how your family has to be feeling." Ziva pressed. "You rarely talk to your mother, it's even less often that you talk to your father. I know for a fact that Caitlin's trying to talk to you and that you're ignoring her. This isn't a healthy way to work through problems."

Anastasia looked at her, wide-eyed unsure whether she was angry or sad about the situation. "I miss mom and dad." She admitted softly.

Ziva sighed before something clicked in her mind and she reached for Sienna. "We're going to work." She announced as she adjusted Sienna in her arms.

"I thought you weren't going in today." Anastasia said obviously confused.

"You need to see your parents. You have today off from school, Caitlin doesn't. There's no way you'll run into her there." Ziva assured her and looked to find her still in pajamas. "Go change and be down in ten minutes." She instructed.

Anastasia ran up the stairs in Tony and Ziva's townhome. She pushed the door to her room open. It was smaller than her room at home and far less personal but it was still nice. She had a few posters on the walls and her bed was covered with her quilts from home, but other than that everything in the room was furniture that Tony had brought from his old apartment when they moved in.

As soon as Anastasia was ready to go she ran back down the stairs and found Ziva playing with Sienna's hands as she sat in her carrier on the counter. "Hi baby!" She cooed to her daughter.

"I'm ready Ziva." Anastasia announced calling her attention.

"Sweetheart I know you're worried." Ziva assured her. "Your mother loves you and she's going to be so happy to see you."

Anastasia nodded with a smile before quietly following Ziva to her car.

* * *

><p>Anastasia tapped her foot nervously as she rode the elevator down to her mom's lab, a No-Caff-Pow in hand. <em>She hates me… I never talk to her anymore she's never going to love me anymore.<em> She thought to herself. Eventually the doors slid open and she nervously stepped toward her mom's lab.

"Tim?" Abby called from where she was sitting at her analysis desk, her back turned from the door. Anastasia of course didn't respond and carefully made her way into the room. "Tim if you're trying to surprise me it's not going to work I know you're here." She assured who she thought to be her husband. "Tim you're not going to…" She said as she turned around in her chair, more surprised than ever to see her daughter's face. "Anastasia!" She exclaimed all of the love she felt for her daughter lining her voice.

Anastasia smiled as she stood in the doorway hesitantly. **I'm sorry… I shouldn't have come. **She began to apologize when Abby made no move to talk to her and she quickly turned around and headed back out of the room.

Abby struggled over her stomach to quickly get up. She eventually caught up with her daughter who was standing in front of the elevator in tears. **I love you.** She signed gently. **And I'm not mad at you. I just miss you. **

Anastasia wiped her tears as her mom pulled her into a tight hug. **How are you?** She asked as soon as the hug was over.

**Tired… and very pregnant. **Abby said with a smile. **How about you sweetie?**

**I'm fine. **She assured her mother. **Do you want to sit down?** She asked nervously.

Abby shook her head. **I've been sitting all day I really needed to get up anyway. I haven't talked to you since Halloween sweetie and that was in passing… Is something wrong?** She asked, genuinely concerned for her daughter.

Anastasia shook her head. **I've been fine. Living with Tony and Ziva is interesting and it's good to be more immersed in a house where sign language isn't as prominent. **

**Sweetie I'm sure this is great for you in those respects, but don't you miss being at home? **Abby pressed.

Anastasia sighed. **It's hard being away… **She admitted. **But honestly getting away from Caitlin is worth it… **That was all it took for Abby to burst into tears. **Mom are you okay? **She questioned nervously.

She was still carefully attempting to calm her mother down when Tim arrived in the lab. **What happened?** He signed almost angrily.

**I don't know!** Anastasia said obviously terrified as Tim pulled Abby into his arms and began to whisper into her ear.

"It's okay Abs. What's the matter?" He asked her softly.

Abby shook her head. "Don't worry about it."

"Honey I'm worried about you. This stress isn't good for you or the baby. He would be almost two months early if he was born now." He reminded her gently.

Abby sighed in defeat as she tried to take deep breaths and took a seat at her desk. **Stace? **Tim requested his daughter. **Could you give me and your mom a minute. Go upstairs and say hello to Gibbs. He's missed you. **Anastasia nodded and quickly made her way out of the lab.

"Honey what happened?" Tim pressed again.

"We have to tell her." Abby replied quietly.

Tim shook his head. "Abby we agreed it would be best if we didn't tell her." He reminded her.

"Caitlin's distraught!" Abby argued. "She tried to kill herself because she drove away her little sister! Anastasia doesn't even know!"

"Abby we decided along with Tony, Ziva, Ducky, and Gibbs that telling Anastasia wasn't going to make the situation any better. Anastasia needs to come home on her own terms." Tim reminded her gently.

"What if that's too late?" Abby screamed back. "What if she never comes home!"

Tim sighed as he gently rubbed Abby's back as she tried to calm down. "Anastasia's a good kid. She just needs a little time."

"Four months isn't enough time?" Abby asked obviously frustrated.

"Abby I don't know how much time it's going to take. But she'll come back." Tim assured her.

They sat in silence for a moment before Abby shifted in her chair. "Ouch." She commented.

"Are you alright?" Tim asked worriedly.

"He's just kicking… really hard." She said as tears filled her eyes.

"Abby she's going to be perfect no matter what." Tim assured her, instantly aware of what she was distraught about.

"What if he hurts her?" Abby asked softly imagining her daughter who never even got a chance coming into the world damaged.

Tim shook his head. "You know he can't do that Abs." Tim assured her.

Abby nodded her mind returning to a logical state. "I know I just… I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." Tim reminded her. "You're allowed to feel however you want to feel right now."

"I feel like Anastasia has to know." Abby replied mischievously.

Tim sighed knowing he wasn't going to win this argument. "Abby if you think she needs to know I think it's worth telling her. But I don't think walking up to our daughter and telling her that her older sister almost committed suicide because of her actions is the best way to go."

"Well…" Abby replied sounding very tired.

Tim looked over at her and smiled as her eyes were obviously slipping in and out of being awake. "Hey let's go home early." Tim suggested.

"I'm fine!" Abby insisted. "I want to spend some more time with Anastasia…"

"How about Anastasia comes home with us tonight?" Tim suggested softly.

Abby shook her head. "She won't come with us Tim…"

"Abby she's our daughter. She'll come with us." Tim assured her.

"No… Tim we're losing her…" Abby said obviously getting stressed by the situation. "I love Tony and Ziva so much and I can't thank them enough for what they're doing for Anastasia, but we're losing her."

"Abby you need to stay calm." Tim encouraged gently. "Anastasia's going to spend tonight at our house whether she wants to or not." He assured her.

"Don't force her…" Abby tried to protest.

Tim shook his head. "Abby you need her back and I'm getting her back for you if that's the last thing I do." He said before heading to the elevator.

"Timmy! Just…" She tried to protest but he was too far away.

**Stace. **Tim signed with a purpose as soon as he reached the bullpen.

**Hey is mom okay? **Anastasia replied from her place at her father's desk.

Tim shook his head. **You're coming home. Tonight. **He informed her harshly.

Anastasia looked at him indignantly. **Dad… I live at Tony and Ziva's. **She pointed out awkwardly.

Tim shook his head. **Not tonight you don't. You need to see your sister again and it's obvious you're not going to make that choice on your own. **

**I don't want to see her again! **Anastasia signed back angrily.

**And I don't care.** Tim cut her off. **Your mom is due next month and I'm not going to deal with having Christmas in two weeks with your very pregnant mother panicking over how the family's still split in half. **

**Mom doesn't care! **Anastasia protested. **She would have said something!**

**She misses you! You're her little girl and that's exactly who she needs right now. I understand that you and Caitlin are having problems but that's no excuse for the side effects your mom is suffering. **Tim replied angrily. **You're coming home tonight and we'll talk about it later. **

**I don't want to! **Anastasia protested grumpily.

**You know what come on we're leaving right now.** Tim informed her as he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of his chair. "Gibbs I'm taking Anastasia and Abby home early today." He informed his boss as he angrily pulled his SIG and badge from his desk. Gibbs only raised his eyebrow in response as the two headed toward the elevator, one far less willing than the other.

* * *

><p>"Caitlin we're home!" Tim called into the house as he helped Abby up the stairs.<p>

"I'm in the kitchen!" Caitlin replied.

Abby stopped briefly as she struggled to remove her shoes before they continued to the kitchen.

Caitlin looked up and was shocked to see her little sister standing there. **Stace?** Caitlin asked tentatively.

**Look I'm just going to go upstairs and I'll be going home tomorrow. Don't bother to try and talk to me. **Anastasia replied before running up the stairs.

"Go after her." Tim instructed.

"She doesn't want to talk to me dad. I'm not going to force her to do anything." Caitlin replied grumpily as she sat down at the counter with a bowl of frosted flakes.

Abby rolled her eyes as she confiscated the bowl from her daughter. "Fix it." She said, obviously at the end of her rope.

Caitlin sighed before going upstairs, fully intent on ignoring her sister and just going to her room but she was surprised to see her sitting outside her door in the hallway. **You alright? **Caitlin signed, trying to look uninterested.

**Doors locked. **Anastasia replied with a small smile. **Don't worry about it. I'm sure mom or dad will unlock it later. **

**You can come to my room. **Caitlin offered before going into her room herself.

It took a couple of minutes but eventually Anastasia got up and went into her sister's room. She awkwardly sat down on the floor in the corner and pulled out her phone.

Caitlin looked over at her sister and sighed before turning back to her laptop. _I can't believe I let this happen… She's my baby sister I'm supposed to protect her, not hurt her._ She thought miserably. She stood up and went over to her sister. **I'm sorry. **She signed after she had her attention.

**Me too. **Anastasia replied with little interest.

**Look… I want you to come back home. Not for me but for mom. **Caitlin informed her.

**Maybe I don't want to come home. **Anastasia replied angrily. **Maybe I don't want to have to deal with you again. I'm happy Caitlin. For the first time in a long time I'm happy.**

**You're not happy. **Caitlin replied. **You miss us, you just won't admit it to yourself because you're so sure that you're happier now. I can tell you're not. **

**Yes… I am… **Anastasia persisted.

**Okay fine. Then you have to come home unhappy because I can't deal with mom on Christmas alone. **Caitlin admitted. **She's emotional enough as it is but without you here I'm getting everything. On Christmas if you're not home… She already feels like a failure. **

**That's not why I'm not at home! I'm not at home because everything you do is about you! You can't even take a minute to think about how I might feel about something!** Anastasia signed furiously. **Every time we talk about anything it's always about how what I did messed up something you wanted!**

**That's not true! You just won't listen to me! **Caitlin replied ironically.

Anastasia heaved a sigh. **See there you go doing it again!**

**Doing what again?** Caitlin replied angrily.

"BEING A JERK!" Anastasia screamed, taking Caitlin off guard. "I don't know what makes you think you can control me! Is it because I'm younger than you? Is it because I'm deaf?"

"Of course not!" Caitlin yelled back.

"THEN WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES YOU SO CONTROLLING!" Anastasia asked as she stood up.

"HOW MUCH BETTER YOU ARE THAN I AM!" Caitlin screamed back, almost surprised by herself.

Downstairs Abby eyed Tim. "Should we intervene?" She asked hearing her daughters' yelling match up the stairs.

Tim sighed as he sat down next to his wife and pulled her into his arms. "Let them fight it out for a bit Abs. They'll never learn how to work out their issues if we're always intervening."

Abby looked up at him. "I know…" She sighed. "I just wish it wasn't this hard." She said as she pressed her hand to her abdomen trying to stop the baby from kicking.

"Is he bothering you again?" Tim asked with a smirk. Abby nodded sadly and Tim moved his hand to where hers was and started rubbing small circles with his fingertips.

"Hey buddy leave mommy alone." Tim said softly. "She needs some rest kiddo."

Abby smiled as she leaned into Tim's chest. "I'm so done with being pregnant." She admitted.

"Come on I'm sure there's some benefit." Tim suggested as he rubbed slightly deeper, still feeling his son's kicks.

"Well…" Abby blushed. "You're much more satisfying…" She admitted softly.

Tim laughed and pulled his lips to hers. "Well I do aim to please."

"Ouch." Abby said crankily. "Stop kicking me you little bugger."

"Hey!" Tim said indignantly. "I told you to stop that!"

"It's not working." Abby whined. "He's just feeling super obnoxious. It's no question that he's your kid."

"Hey!" Tim said with a smirk. "I resemble that statement!"

Abby whacked his chest. "Really Timmy? Really?" She asked trying to suppress her smile.

"I just realized how quiet it got…" Tim pointed out.

"Do you think they're working stuff our or do you think they killed each other off?" Abby asked trying not to giggle too much.

"I'm hoping the former." Tim replied nervously, unsure if she was joking or not.

"I'm sure we would have heard something if someone were seriously hurt Tim. It's just going to take a little bit of time for them to work out all of the issues that have been building up." Abby assured him. "Girls are a bit more complicated than guys in case you somehow didn't figure that out."

"Don't worry I caught that one." Tim said as he pulled his hand from her stomach.

"I never said you could stop…" Abby pointed out grumpily as she felt a foot begin to press against her stomach.

Tim looked at her stomach in disbelief. "Is he still bothering you?" Abby nodded as she leaned further onto her husband. "I told you to stop doing that." Tim said sternly.

"Ouch." Abby said as she adjusted herself again.

"Hey are you alright?" Tim asked seeing Abby's face lined with pain.

"Fine." Abby lied through her teeth.

Tim shook his head. "We're going to the hospital."

"Tim I'm fine!" Abby insisted.

"Look I know you're worried about the girls, but they're stressing you out and it's bad for the baby. If you're in this much pain it's time to worry about the baby not the girls." Tim said as he gently stood up.

Abby shook her head tears falling down her face. "I don't want to know…" She admitted softly.

Tim cupped her chin gently in his hand. "I get it Abs. It's going to be hard if something's wrong but it's better for him and you if we catch it early."

"No… Tim I can't go…" Abby said tears still streaming.

Tim saw the pain shining in her eyes and sighed. "Abs lets go upstairs and lie down alright?"

Abby nodded, wincing as Tim helped her stand up. They slowly made their way up the stairs, Abby wincing every few steps. Once Abby was laying down Tim spoke again. "I'm going to call Ducky alright?"

Abby was too tired to care. "Just… make it stop."

"We will Abs… We will." He assured her as he pressed his lips to her forehead. Tim quickly left the room and pulled the door shut before knocking on Caitlin's door.

"Come in!" Caitlin called.

He opened the door and saw both his daughters sitting cross-legged on the bed. He decided it would be best to sign and speak. "Mom's in pain. I'm calling Ducky to come check her out. You two just stay put alright?" Both girls nodded and he quickly left to call Ducky.

"Dr. Mallard." His voice rang through the phone, his voice echoing in a way that signaled that he was in Autopsy.

"Ducky it's Tim."

"Timothy what can I do for you? I'd appreciate it if you could make it fast, Jethro is waiting and he gets rather impatient."

Tim sighed. "Abby's in pain." He said bluntly.

"Is she alright? Is the baby alright?" Ducky asked calling Gibbs' attention to the situation.

"I don't know. The baby was kicking for awhile which was just annoying her but then she said it hurt, and it looks like it hurts a lot." Tim said nervously.

"She may just be overreacting. She does have reason to be nervous." Ducky assured him. "But I can come check on her if you want." He offered knowing the nature of the call.

"She won't go to the hospital because she's too scared. If you could come and let us know if she needs to go to the hospital or if she just needs some rest." Tim replied thankfully.

"I'll be right there, Mr. Palmer can take over for me here, which Jethro is going to have to live with." Ducky said before hanging up.

Tim paced back and forth down the hallway for almost twenty minutes before the doorbell rang. He quickly shuffled to the door and let Ducky in, trying to keep the cold out. "Thank you so much for coming. I don't know what's wrong but it's scaring the crap out of us."

Ducky removed his shoes. "It's not a problem." Ducky assured him as they headed up the stairs.

"Abby?" Tim asked gently as they entered.

"It hurts Timmy." Abby said burying her face into her pillow.

"Alright Abigail." Ducky sighed hating to see her in pain. "What hurts?" He asked gently.

"My back and thighs." Abby said with a groan.

"Alright it doesn't sound too serious." Ducky assured her. "I'd like to check for any dilation if that's alright with you." He requested. Abby nodded as she rolled from her side to her back and sat up. "Alright Timothy I'd be eternally grateful if you could hold her feet up." He said as he lifted Abby's legs up above her.

Abby shifted uncomfortably as Ducky examined her grateful when he finally finished.

"Alright everything looks good Abigail." Ducky assured her. "Aches and pains become more common later in the pregnancy. I would suggest having Timothy massage whatever hurts."

Abby nodded as she sat up to a more comfortable position. "Can you start with my back?" Abby asked, looking ashamed of her weakness.

"Abby it's alright." Tim assured her seeing how she felt. "I'd love to." He said before slipping to sit behind her and let his fingers knead into her lower back.

"If it's alright with you two I'd like to get back to work. Jethro has probably already mentally damaged Mr. Palmer by now and I'd like him to still be functional by the time I get back." Ducky said with a small smile. "If you need anything please just call." Ducky assured them before heading down the stairs.

"Is this helping Abs?" Tim asked a rather tired looking Abby. Abby nodded, trying to keep her body stable. "If you want to sleep then go ahead." He assured her.

"I don't want to fall asleep on you." Abby admitted.

"Alright then lay on your side." Tim suggested as he sat cross-legged next to her back and continued to massage her back as she fell asleep.

Once he was sure she was comfortable and asleep he got up to check on his daughters.

"Is mom alright?" Caitlin asked, obviously concerned, as soon as the door opened to her bedroom.

"Mom's fine." He assured his daughters. "She's just very pregnant." He said with a small smirk.

Anastasia sighed in relief. **Dad I want to come home. **She admitted after a moment.

**I want you to too. **He signed back before pulling her into a hug. **I missed you. **

**I missed you too Dad. I just don't want to miss out on getting to know my baby brother because of some stupid fight. We worked it out. It's going to be okay. **Anastasia explained before Caitlin chimed in.

"We've figured out how to see each other's points of view. We might not always get along but we're sure going to try." Caitlin explained.

"That's because you're family."

_**Author's Note: AAAAAH! I'm sorry this took so long to write and get up! This silly thing called snow keeps happening and I keep getting distracted by hot chocolate and stuff (nom nom nom marshmallows) Anyway! I hope you like this next story I have GREAT plans. Please review!**_


	2. Christmas Part I

"I can't believe you're even thinking about going into work today." Abby snapped grumpily.

"Abby I didn't ask that marine to die yesterday!" Tim replied trying not to lose his cool. "If we don't get this case done today we're going to have to go in again tomorrow."

Abby sighed. "But it's Christmas Eve Timmy." She whined. "I want to stay at home with the girls." She admitted.

"Abs you don't have to come in if you don't want to. Gibbs would understand if you wanted to stay home." Tim assured her eying her very large stomach.

Abby glared at him. "You guys would get nothing done without me and you know that." She said irritably. "I just think we should put the case on hold until after Christmas."

"Vance's orders Abs." Tim said as he took a piece of toast from the toaster. "If you don't want to come then don't but I can't just not show up. I'm not pregnant."

Abby gritted her teeth. "Shut up Mcgee. I don't use it as an excuse."

"You totally do." Tim said with a smirk. "And you're feeling pretty snippy if you're going all 'Mcgee' on me…" He pointed out.

"Okay I'm going to leave in three minutes. When you're not ready you're just going to have to walk." Abby informed him crankily.

"I'll just take the hearse." Tim retorted.

"The hearse has been out of gas for months. I never drive it because your child's in the way." Abby replied before getting up and grabbing her purse. "Two minutes Mcgee."

Tim raced up the stairs knowing there was no way he'd make it back in time. He had to get his gun out of the safe and that would take at least a minute. He was just hoping she wouldn't pay on this promise.

Much to his dismay when he got to the garage four minutes later he found the Porsche gone. "Alright then Abs. You win this round."

* * *

><p>Three hours later Tim trudged into the bullpen.<p>

"You're late Mcgee." Tony informed him helpfully.

"Shut up." Tim replied crankily as he threw his backpack behind his desk.

"Care to share Mcgee?" Gibbs asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"I had to walk, the roads are covered in ice and snow and it's still coming down. It took awhile." Tim said through gritted teeth.

"Why did you have to walk?" Ziva asked curiously. "Abby drove."

"That's just it Abby drove. The Hearse has been empty for months and Abby purposefully took all of my cash." Tim griped.

"Mcgee you might want to give it a rest if you want to keep your job." Gibbs warned before picking up his ringing phone. "Gibbs."After a few moments and grunts of understanding he hung up the phone. "Gear up."

"Gibbs we can't take on another case this close to the holidays!" Tim said exasperatedly. "Abby's gonna kill me as it is."

"It's not a new case Mcgee, new body. David you're staying here." Gibbs said swiftly.

"Gibbs!" Ziva started to complain.

"Someone has to stay here with Abby, just in case. I'm assuming Mcgee isn't the best choice for that right now and DiNozzo is never the right choice." Gibbs replied.

Ziva nodded in defeat as she set down her backpack.

"Come on lets go before that body's frozen." Tony suggested and they headed to the elevator.

* * *

><p>"Hey Abby." Ziva said as she made her way into the lab.<p>

"Hey Zi." Abby greeted from where she was pacing.

Ziva rose her eyebrows. "You okay over there Abs?"

Abby nodded. "He's being very persistent at kicking me at the base of my spine." She said before suddenly letting out a moan and grabbing onto the side of her desk.

"Abby?" Ziva asked, knowing that Abby would know exactly what she was asking.

Abby shook her head vigorously. "No Zi… It's just Braxton-hicks. I promise you'll know the moment it's the real thing." She said rather unconvincingly.

"Abby that moan isn't a Braxton-hicks moan. I had Sienna barely five months ago. Sweetie I know it hurts and that it's scary but this is happening." Ziva tried to console her

Abby shook her head furiously. "No I'm not ready." She said tears streaming down her face.

"Abs it's like a blizzard out there if we're going to get you to the hospital we need to go now." Ziva warned.

"I'm not in labor!" Abby insisted before a gush of water rushed down her legs.

Ziva sighed. "Come on Abs… you really have no case anymore."

Abby shook her head as she slid to the floor. "I can't do this not without Tim."

Ziva nodded as she pulled out her cell phone and dialed Tim's number. "Mcgee." Came his curt response.

"Mcgee please tell me you're on your way back." Ziva was practically begging.

"We're trapped in the mountains. Ducky's van was the last car they let through and that was only because he had a dead body in his vehicle. It could be hours before they let anyone through again." Tim told her regretfully. "Did you get a lead or something?"

"Something like that… "Ziva started before she just decided to get it out. "Abby's in labor."

"WHAT?" Mcgee screamed. "No… No… Ziva she's not ready. We're not ready."

"Mcgee… It doesn't matter the baby's ready and he's decided today is the day for his big debut. I'm going to get Abby to the hospital, meet us there when you can." Ziva informed him about to hang up her phone.

"Ziva!" Mcgee stopped her. "Have you looked outside recently?"

"Not particularly why?" Ziva asked not understanding.

"The roads aren't passable Ziva… I don't even know how likely it is that Ducky's going to make it back there." Tim said feeling himself getting light headed.

"Oh crap." Ziva said before hanging up her phone. "Alright Abs let's get you comfortable." She said nervously as she helped her off the floor to take her to the futon in her office.

"Ziva what's going on?" Abby asked feeling the pressure of a contraction easing on.

"Don't worry about it Abs." Ziva tried to direct her attention elsewhere.

"I need Timmy." Abby said through gritted teeth as she eased into her futon.

"Okay… maybe you should know so you don't get your hopes up." Ziva said without tact. "Uhm… Tony Mcgee and Gibbs are trapped in the mountains… and Ducky may or may not have made it through the pass." She said quickly. "But there's nothing to worry about. We're just going to stay put right here and wait for the storm to pass."

"OUCH!" Abby cried out. "I can't _wait for the storm to pass_ Ziva! I don't even know what I'm supposed to do here!"

"Abby you've had two kids and I've had one we can do this." Ziva said as calmly as possible

Abby shook her head as she bit her lip. "Ziva… She's not going to be anything like what's happened to us before."

Ziva's breath hitched. How could she have forgotten. Abby wasn't just pregnant with twins, she was pregnant with twins one of which had stopped developing only a few months into the pregnancy. "Abby we can do this."

"We can do what?" Palmer's voice joined the conversation.

"Palmer!" Ziva snapped at him causing him to dessert the evidence jars on the table. "Get ice chips and as many pillows and blankets as you can find." She instructed quickly.

"What, why?" Palmer asked curiously walking into Abby's office nearly shocked to see her curled into the fetal position riding out the pain. "Oh… Okay that's why… Uhm I'll be right back…" He said rushing out of the lab.

"Shhh… Ride it out Abs…" Ziva encouraged as Abby crushed her hand. "It's going to be okay."

Abby shook her head. "It's not okay Ziva! Nothing about this is okay!" She screamed at her best friend. "I should be happy about this but I'm not! I'm dreading this because my little girl never got the chance to live!"

"Abby calm… down…" Ziva simply instructed. "If you put your son in distress I'm not going to be able to help you. Our only hope is that this birth is as simple as possible."

"ZIVA YOU HAD A C-SECTION!" Abby screamed out during a contraction. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW COMPLICATED THIS IS!"

"Okay calm down. I'm sorry." Ziva said gently brushing her friend's hair from her face. "You're right."

"You bet I'm right." Abby snapped angrily.

Ziva took in a deep breath. _How on earth am I supposed to do this?_ "Abby it's going to be alright." She tried to comfort her, despite her own nervousness.

Abby shook her head as she buried it into a pillow. "I can't do this."

Ziva gently rubbed Abby's back until another contraction came and she grunted out in pain. "Alright keep breathing and stay calm." Ziva tried to coach.

"I AM CALM!" Abby screamed at her.

Ziva held her hand through the contraction and sighed in relief when her hand was released. She sat back as she watched Abby try to relax. "Ducky please make it…" She whispered.

* * *

><p>Three hours later Abby was pacing around the lab with Ziva and Palmer supporting her on either side. Every few minutes she'd stop and let out a grunt or moan and they would try their best to comfort her.<p>

Abby was in pain. Not just physical pain, but the idea that she was going to give birth to her daughter in this situation without her husband was causing extreme amounts of emotional pain as well.

"How are you doing Abs?" Ziva asked gently as the contraction subsided.

Abby didn't even look up, her eyes remaining locked on her contracting stomach. "I want Timmy." She said through shallow breaths for the hundredth time that hour.

"Ziva my phone's vibrating." Palmer informed her awkwardly.

"Then answer it!" Ziva replied obviously annoyed.

"Palmer." He spoke swiftly into his phone.

"Mr. Palmer I'm downstairs and I need some assistance getting the body into Autopsy." Ducky informed him.

Palmer heaved a sigh of relief. "We need you in Abby's lab now!" He said rather loudly.

"Mr. Palmer you know that the body can't just stay in the garage. I'm sure you and Abigail can show me your findings after such." Ducky replied irritably.

"No… Uhm… We don't have anything on the case…" Palmer replied stupidly.

"You're telling me that over the last six hours that we were gone you were unable to find anything of use for the case?" Ducky asked angrily. "What are you even working on right now?"

Ziva was obviously frustrated by Palmer's inability to communicate and she snatched the phone from his hand. "We're working on delivering a baby." Ziva snapped.

"Oh my…" Ducky replied almost guiltily. "I'll be right up." He said before hanging up the phone.

Ziva sighed as she handed Palmer back his phone. "Get to the point next time Palmer." She instructed as she felt Abby's grip start to tighten. "Breathe Abs… Breathe…" Ziva tried to coach her.

As the contraction subsided Ducky made it into the lab. "Alright how far are we?" He asked gently.

"We don't really know…" Palmer admitted.

"Mr. Palmer did you forget how to check dilation in the few years it's been since med school?" Ducky asked impatiently. Palmer's face flushed to a bright red. "Alright Abigail." Ducky said calmly as she rode through a contraction. "After this contraction I want you to change into the nightgown that I got from your bag in the car alright?"

Abby nodded after the contraction ended and she took the nightgown and went into the ballistics lab with Ziva to change.

"Mr. Palmer how long has she been experiencing contractions?" Ducky asked as he pulled out a pad of paper and a pen.

"Well… I got here about three hours ago but Ziva was down here about an hour before that and Abby had already been experiencing pain and was attempting to walk it off when Ziva arrived." Palmer reported.

"How far apart are the contractions?"

"About three minutes."

Ducky sighed. "We're having these babies tonight." He said as he checked his watch. "We can only hope Timothy makes it back in time."

* * *

><p>It was nearing midnight and Abby was sweating profusely. "No… I can't do it…" Abby said through shallow breaths.<p>

"Abigail we've put this off as long as possible but your son's going to go into distress if you don't deliver soon." Ducky said calmly as Ziva tied Abby's hair back.

"No… No…. No…" Abby began as she felt another contraction coming.

Ducky sighed as he gently moved Abby from her side to her back. "Mr. Palmer please support this leg." He asked as he lifted her right leg. "Ziva this leg." He said even though it was obvious a he lifted the left leg. Ducky watched her stomach until he saw the contraction start. "Okay Abby push!" Ducky instructed.

"NO NO NO!" Abby screamed even though she began pushing anyway.

"That's good Abby… It's almost over… Just a little longer… Alright you're done." Ducky coached.

"I can't do it Ducky…" Abby said softly as she laid back against the pillows.

"Abby you're doing beautifully." Ducky assured her.

"I need Timmy…" Abby whimpered.

"He'll be here as soon as he can." Ducky assured her.

"Why hasn't he called?" Abby asked exasperatedly.

"Abby the phone lines are down I'm sure he's on his way. He would do anything not to miss this." Ziva reminded her.

"That's not good enough… Oh… No…" She said as she felt another contraction coming.

"Alright Abby let's try to get this baby's head out." Ducky said gently. "Alright ready… set.. push!"

"AUGH!" Abby screamed at him.

Halfway through the contraction another voice joined the scene. "Abby!" Tim's voice filled the lab.

"TIM!" Abby screamed at him as he ran into the office.

"Did I miss it?" Tim asked as he grabbed Abby's outreached hand.

"Does it look like you missed it?" Abby asked through clenched teeth.

Tim sighed out of relief as Ducky spoke up. "Alright we've got a head." Ducky told them. "One more push and you'll have a baby boy."

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here Abs." Tim apologized as he kissed her forehead. "Gibbs and Tony will get here soon. Once we reached the navy yard I decided to get out and run here."

"Augh Tim…" Abby grunted.

"I'm so sorry Abs…" Tim said as she clutched his hand.

"Okay Abigail this is it." Ducky informed them. "Three… two… one… push!"

"OW!" Abby screamed before she felt a release from her body and a small cry.

"You did it Abs." Tim said with a huge smile surprised not to see one on her face.

Abby nodded. "He's perfect." She said with tears flowing down her face.

"It's 12:34 Abs… He's a Christmas baby." Ziva said with a smile.

"What's his name Abigail?" Ducky asked Gently.

"Ryan… Ryan Charles Mcgee." Tim replied as Abby buried her face into Tim's shoulder. Ducky tried to pass Ryan to Abby but she refused to acknowledge him.

"Here." Tim said gently as he took his son into his arms.

Ducky looked sadly at the couple. This moment should be a happy one but for them it was filled with pain and tears because of what was coming. "Alright Abby whenever you're ready I want you to push and we'll deliver your daughter." He said gently.

Several minutes later Abby sat up again and grabbed on to Tim's free hand.

"Alright Abigail since she's so small I'm going to have to help her get out." Ducky said softly. "Just bear down and I'll do the rest alright?" Abby nodded and began to push.

"12:49… Baby girl Mcgee." Ducky said softly as he cleaned the baby.

"Payton Hope…" Tim said quietly as he looked at his innocent daughter. "I'll take her." Tim offered as Ducky placed his daughter in his open arm.

"Alright Abby let's finish this up." Ducky said gently, his heart nearly torn in half.

* * *

><p>When Gibbs and Tony finally made it back to NCIS Abby was curled up on the futon asleep, and Ziva was feeding Ryan with a bottle while Tim sat at Abby's desk holding Payton against his chest.<p>

"What took you so long?" Ziva asked curiously.

"I had to go get Sienna from daycare." Tony replied quietly. "It made our route a bit indirect."

Ziva looked up and saw her daughter in Gibbs' arms. "Hey baby." She said with a smile.

"How's Abby?" Gibbs asked softly.

Ziva sighed. "I don't know. She's been sleeping since the birth."

"So who's this?" Tony inquired about the child in her arms.

"Ryan Charles Mcgee." Ziva reported. "He was born at 12:34 this morning."

Tony looked at his watch. "Hey it is Christmas!" He said excitedly.

Ziva shook her head. "Tony it's not a good day…"

Gibbs looked over at Tim and felt his heart break in half. "This wasn't supposed to happen this way." He murmured.

"Gibbs." Tim called his attention. "Do you want to meet our daughter?" He asked softly.

Gibbs nodded softly as he moved over. "What's her name?" He asked as he took in her tiny features.

"Payton Hope Mcgee." Tim said as he gently slid is finger along her face.

"What are your plans?" Gibbs asked gently.

Tim sighed. "We were planning on a service… But Abs is quite a bit shaken up."

"Understandable." Gibbs said gently. "Has she seen her?"

Tim shook his head. "She barely even glanced at Ryan."

They sat in silence for a few more minutes. "Has anyone checked up on Caitlin and Stace?"

Tim sat up in alarm. "Crap… I don't even think they know Abby was in labor." He said sadly. "Can you hold her for me?" He asked as Gibbs handed Sienna to Tony so he could hold Payton.

Tim pulled out his phone and dialed his house.

"Dad where are you guys?" Caitlin asked exasperatedly.

Tim sighed. "You're alright?" He asked softly.

"What's going on?" Caitlin asked again.

"You're a big sister again." Tim said gently.

"Mom had the baby?" Caitlin asked excitedly.

"_Babies_." Tim corrected softly.

"Is everything alright?" Caitlin replied sheepishly.

"We're going to be alright but I need you two to sit tight. Don't open the presents until we get home." Tim instructed as he watched Abby start stirring. "I've got to go your mom's waking up." He said quickly before hanging up his phone and rushing over to Abby. "Hey." He greeted softly.

Abby stretched out and moaned. "Ugh… Hey Timmy." She said unwilling to open her eyes.

"How're you feeling?" Tim asked gently.

"I'm sorry Timmy." Abby replied softly.

Tim sighed. "Abby you have nothing to be sorry for." He tried to comfort her.

Abby shook her head. "I shouldn't have left you at home this morning." She said guiltily.

"Oh Abs…" Tim said softly has he ran his fingers through her tangled hair. "It's okay. You had a hard day you've got an excuse."

"I really shouldn't have though Timmy." Abby admitted. "I had started having contractions in the morning and I just wanted to try to work it off…"

Tim sighed. "You were just being stubborn… just like the Abby I love." They sat together in silence for a moment before Tim spoke up. "You want to meet our babies?" He asked her gently.

Abby nodded slowly and Tim helped her sit up. "Ouch." She muttered as her abdomen bent.

"Sorry Abs." Tim said gently as he took Payton from Gibbs before carefully putting her in Abby's arms.

"Hey baby girl." Abby said softly. "I never wanted this for you…" She said as her tears slid off her cheeks and landed in the bundle of blankets in her arms.

Tim gently put his arms around the two of them. "I love both of you so much." He said feeling tears pricking at his eyes.

"Are we still going to have Ducky do an Autopsy?" Abby asked softly.

"If you want to we can." Tim said gently.

Abby nodded. "I want to know if something went wrong."

"Do you want Ryan too?" Ziva asked gently as she walked over to the couple.

Abby looked up. "Yes please." She said softly before adjusting so that Peyton rested in one arm as Ryan was put in the other.

"They're beautiful Abs." Gibbs said gently.

Abby looked down at the two infants in her arms, one of which significantly smaller than the other. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. "We need a picture of them together." She said softly.

Tim nodded and found the camera in Abby's desk. Gibbs took the camera from them. "You need to be in the picture too Tim." Gibbs said gently. Tim nodded and moved over behind Abby.

"They are so perfect." Tim whispered into Abby's ear.

"I want the girls here." Abby said after Gibbs took a few pictures.

"Abby we really have no way of getting them here…" Tim said softly.

"I want to spend Christmas as a family Tim. Yesterday was long and hard and I just want to spend today with all four of our kids." Abby said softly.

Gibbs nodded. "Your girls need to be here and I'm going to get them here." He informed them before getting ready to leave.

"Gibbs it's alright. We can try and get them over here by cab or something." Tim dismissed the idea.

Gibbs shook his head. "We're not going to put them in the hands of some irresponsible cab driver in this storm. I'll go get them."

"Gibbs it's not that big of a deal." Tim tried again.

Gibbs looked over at Abby. "No Tim… It really is." He informed him. "Your girls deserve to spend Christmas with their new siblings and I'm going to make that happen."

"Gibbs!" Tim tried but it was too late Gibbs was already in the elevator. "Just… be safe." He mumbled under his breath.

_**Author's Note: Hey Guys! The Seattle Snowpocalypse of 2012 has brought you more frequent updates from this author! So thank all of this snow! Also I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my best friend's baby brother Ryan Charles Ford who was born at 12:34 this morning in our own snow storm (I was actually planning the birth this way already but I got the name and time from the cutest new baby boy :D) Stay tuned for part II!**_


	3. Christmas Part II

Four hours later everyone remained in Abby's lab waiting for Gibbs to come back. Tim was sitting on the futon with Abby in his lap. Abby was feeding Ryan and Ziva was holding Payton. Tony was sitting in the corner with Palmer playing peek-a-boo with Sienna.

"How's our little buddy doing?" Tim asked softly.

"He's so small Tim." Abby replied just as softly. "What if something is really wrong with him and we don't know?" She asked nervously.

"Ducky checked him out and said he's fine Abs." Tim reminded her.

Abby sighed. "I know…" She looked down at her son. "I don't know why I'm so worried about you. You're so perfect."

Tim looked at the two of them before speaking up. "So does this mean that he gets twice the amount of presents as the girls on Christmas?"

Abby looked up at him and smacked him in the shoulder. "Of course it does." She said with a smirk.

"Mom!" Caitlin's voice joined the room.

"Katie!" Abby said softly. "Come meet Ryan."

Caitlin rushed over with Anastasia right behind. "He's so cute mom!" Caitlin said excitedly.

**What's his name?** Anastasia requested.

**R-y-a-n **Tim spelled out for his daughter.

**He's adorable. **Anastasia said happily.

Abby nodded but didn't sign back as her arms were otherwise occupied.

"I told you I could do it." Gibbs' voice joined the conversation. "We slid off the road a few times but we made it."

"Gibbs!" Tim exclaimed. "Sliding off the road is a big deal!"

"Look Tim, your family's here for Christmas isn't that worth it for you?" Gibbs chastised, missing his own family more than he ever thought he could again.

"I guess." Tim said softly. "I just… I value their lives more than being with them today."

"I wouldn't put them at risk Mcgee." Gibbs replied irritably.

Tim sighed. "I know… I just have a very protective outlook on life right now." He admitted glancing toward his daughter in Ziva's arms. "We don't have much time left with her."

Gibbs nodded sympathetically. "Pictures?" He asked simply.

Tim nodded before going to Ziva. "May I?"

"Of course." Ziva said softly as she gently placed her into Tim's arms.

Tim walked over to his daughters. "This is your baby sister." He said gently.

"She's so small." Caitlin said softly as Anastasia held still. "And she's so pretty."

"I'm glad you think so." Tim said with a smile. "This is going to be the only time you get to see her." He said solemnly. "Do you want to hold her?" Caitlin nodded slowly as she took a seat in Abby's office chair. Tim gently handed the bundle to his daughter.

Caitlin looked down at her little sister with tears in her eyes. "I never got to know you…" She said feeling choked up. "But you're an amazing little girl."

Abby closed her eyes trying to block out the scene, anything that would take away the pain. She needed anything… Tim didn't notice when she drifted off to sleep.

_"Abby?" Kate's voice filled her ears. Abby opened her eyes and was surprised to find herself in Kate's apartment rather than in her lab. "Abby is everything alright?"Kate pressed. _

_Abby looked at her best friend with tears in her eyes. "No… Kate nothing's alright." _

_"Oh Abs." Kate said softly as she pulled her friend into her arms. "Tell me about it." She requested softly. _

_Abby sighed. "I can't believe I let myself go through the pain I just went through." _

_Kate looked over at her with desperate eyes. "Abby I can't read your mind." She reminded her. _

_Abby sat down on Kate's couch. "I was in labor for over twelve hours before I broke down and let anything happen. And by then Tim was trapped in the mountains."_

_"Oh please tell me he made it back in time." Kate was begging for her friend's sake. _

_Abby sighed. "Ryan was already halfway delivered by the time he got back." _

_"Oh… Abs… I'm so sorry." _

_"We fought in the morning." Abby blurted out. "I was so irritated and I could feel the contractions starting. He was nagging me about staying home and I didn't want to give in yet. I ended up leaving him and making him walk Kate! I'm terrible!"_

_Kate sighed as she sat down next to her. "You're not terrible Abs." She assured her. "I'm sure Tim feels just as bad about this as you do." _

_Abby shook her head. "He's so focused on Payton…"_

_Kate took in a sharp breath. "Abby she needs you to let go." She said gently. "I promise you I'll take care of her but you have to let go."_

_"I don't want to!" Abby whimpered. _

_"Abby… for your sake… I can't tell you how come… but you have more important things to worry about." Kate said softly. _

_"No… I can't…"_

_"Sweetie until you let her go she's stuck with you. But as soon as you let her go I promise you I will take care of her."_

_"NO KATE!" Abby screamed at her. "I CAN'T GIVE UP ANOTHER BABY!" She yelled as she began to see the scene fading in front of her eyes. "NO KATE… KATE…"_

"Kate… no…." Abby muttered in her sleep.

Tim quickly rushed over to her and shook her arm. "Honey you're alright… It's okay." He said as he gently coaxed her awake. "Abby…" He tried again and Abby abruptly sat up before moaning in pain. "Abby it's okay." Tim assured her gently.

"We have to let her go." Abby choked out.

"What?" Tim asked softly.

Abby looked up at him, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Payton… it's time to let go of Payton."

"Abby we can keep her for a little longer." Tim said gently.

Abby shook her head. "Kate promised me she'd take care of her… It's time to let her go." She said with a heavy sigh.

Tim cupped her chin with his hand. "We'll have Ducky come and get her alright?" He asked softly. When she nodded in response he took in a deep breath before going over to his daughters. "It's time to say goodbye girls." He said regretfully.

"Can't she stay?" Caitlin asked softly. "She's so pretty."

It took all of the strength Tim had to say no. "She needs to go sweetie."

Gibbs glanced over. "Do you need Ducky?" Gibbs asked gently.

Tim closed his eyes before nodding. "It's time." He confirmed.

Gibbs looked at his agent, no it wasn't his agent. The team was family, if anything Tim was his son. "I'm so sorry." He said sincerely as he pulled him into his arms. "It's hard… but it gets better."

"I can only hope."

* * *

><p>It was late afternoon on Christmas Day and everyone was gathered in Abby's lab. Gibbs had moved the Christmas tree from the main part of the lab to Abby's office while Tony and Ziva had raided the vending machines attempting to ration a reasonable Christmas dinner. Abby was sleeping on the futon with Ryan gently cuddled in her arm as Tim watched over them. Caitlin and Anastasia were being entertained by Ducky and Palmer in order to keep them out of their parents way.<p>

"We come bearing gifts!" Tony exclaimed happily as he dumped a pile of processed food onto Abby's desk.

"Shhh!" Gibbs hushed him pointing to Abby who was stirring on the futon.

"Sorry." Tony whispered as Ziva placed her pile gently next to hers.

"It's okay." Tim dismissed it. "Abby's probably starving. I should wake her up anyway." He said before gently shaking Abby's arm.

"Ten more minutes." Abby requested as she began to try to roll over.

"Whoa there." Tim said softly pressing Abby back to where she was and carefully rescuing Ryan from his groggy mother. "Come on Abs wake up." Tim tried gently as he held his son up to his shoulder.

"I don't want to.' Abby protested as she began to turn again moaning in pain when she twisted her abdomen. "Augh."

Tim sighed. "I know it hurts." Tim assured her gently. "Tony got some food for dinner. Do you want something?"

Abby opened her eyes taking in her surroundings. "I want to go home." She whispered.

Tim looked at her, feeling her pain. "I know Abs. We will as soon as we can. How about until then we make the best of this Christmas?"

Abby nodded. "Can I get help sitting up?" She asked softly.

Gibbs heard her request and quickly moved across the room to help her sit up. "Easy…" He muttered as he felt her wince. "Are you alright?" He asked as she squeezed his hand.

Abby nodded in gratitude. "Thanks Gibbs."

"Alright what do we have to eat?" Tim asked trying to be as enthusiastic as possible.

"Pretty much as much processed, sugary, carb-filled, crap as you could ever want." Tony reported.

"Ugh." Abby moaned and Ducky looked over at her.

"Timothy Abigail's going to…" He began before Tim looked over and saw her expression, grabbing the trashcan just in time.

Several moments later Abby collapsed backwards. "Are you alright Abs?" Tim asked gently as he handed her a bottle of water.

"I feel awful." She admitted quietly as Tim helped her adjust to a more comfortable position.

"As soon as we can get out of here we'll go to the hospital and get you checked out." He said softly as he waved Ducky over from the food.

"What seems to be the matter, other than the obvious?" He asked softly. Abby moaned as she slowly rolled over, trying to get the aching feeling out of her joints. Ducky carefully pressed his palm to her forehead. "She's burning up Timothy."

"I don't wanna be sick." Abby complained softly.

"Tim we should try and get her to the hospital sooner rather than later. If she got an infection during delivery that I missed it's going to get worse rather than better with time." Ducky said gently.

Tim sighed. "What's our best vehicle choice for getting out of here?"

"I know Vance's car is in the garage and has snow chains on it." Gibbs said as he quietly joined the conversation.

"Oww…" Abby hissed, grabbing her stomach.

"Alright Abs, we're going to the hospital." Tim said softly. "We'll bring Ryan with us and get him checked out as well…"

Very slowly Ducky, Tim, and Gibbs helped Abby get up. "I'm going to throw up again." Abby said as soon as she was upright. Tim grabbed the wastebasket and Gibbs held it under her as Ducky and Tim supported her. Once she was done she looked up with tears in her eyes. "What if something's wrong Timmy?"

Tim sighed, hoping that nothing was horribly wrong. "Then we'll get through it… just like everything else."

* * *

><p>Ducky and Tim were standing outside of the window to the nursery. "I'm so worried." Tim admitted softly.<p>

"Abigail's strong. Even if something's wrong I'm sure everything will be fine." Ducky assured him.

"If it was an infection don't you think they would have identified it as such by now?" Tim said as he began to pace the hallway.

"Tim… you need to calm down." Ducky reminded him. "You have three kids depending on you and if you have a heart attack…"

Tim rolled his eyes. "I'm fine." He assured him. "I'm just really nervous…"

"Mr. Mcgee?" A nurse asked as she approached the pair.

"Yes?" Tim asked as he turned around.

"I need you to come with me." The nurse requested, leading Tim to the elevator and up to Abby's room.

"Timmy!" Abby exclaimed through choked tears. "I'm so sorry…" She whispered into his neck as he held her tight.

"Abby what's wrong?" Tim asked softly as he pushed her hair out of her face.

"You know how Doctor Hogan diagnosed me with Anemia during my pregnancy?" Abby asked softly, keeping her eyes closed in a feeble attempt to block out reality.

"Has it gotten worse?" Tim asked gently as he felt her grip on his hand tighten.

Abby shook her head. "It wasn't anemia…" She said before breaking down into tears as a doctor came into the room.

"Excuse me, Mr. Mcgee?" The doctor asked, and Tim nodded in response. "I'm Doctor Samson your wife's oncologist."

Ducky who had been standing in the doorway shook his head in disbelief. "No…" He whispered. "Not them… not Abby…" he said as he felt a tear fall down his clearly distraught face.

"Oncologist?" Tim asked, not following the conversation.

"Mr. Mcgee, your wife's gynecologist misdiagnosed her when he said that she was anemic." Doctor Samson explained. "You need to understand that I've spoken with Doctor Hogan and it's a very common mistake in situations such as these as the symptoms are very similar with the demands of a growing fetus and so it's often overlooked as a possibility."

"What's going on?" Tim asked, not following what was happening at all.

"Mr. Mcgee, your wife has Leukemia."

_**Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm trying desperately to write this story as I have the entire plot figured out, but I really haven't had time. I just finished finals today though so it's back to writing as usual! Please review… I've only gotten one for this whole story… What happened to you guys?**_


	4. Failure

"_Mr. Mcgee, your wife has Leukemia."_

"Abby…" Tim said softly as he suddenly felt like he was drowning. Everything had gone from so familiar to so unknown in a matter of three seconds. "It's going to be okay."

Abby pulled her hand out of his and slapped him across the face. "There's nothing okay about this." She yelled at him. "NOTHING!"

"Abby…" Tim said, tears falling down his face.

"You can't even understand how I feel right now." Abby said, furiously trying to wipe the tears from her eyes. "I could have died in childbirth… I could die anytime… I'm _dying_."

Tim shook his head before turning to Doctor Samson. "Who makes that kind of mistake?" He asked angrily.

"Mr. Mcgee you have to understand all of the symptoms were masked by her pregnancy." Doctor Samson tried to explain.

"My wife has cancer and all you can say is, sorry we missed it?" He asked angrily before storming out of the room.

"TIM!" Abby yelled after him to no avail.

"I'll go find him." Ducky said quickly before running after him.

"WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY!" Tim was yelling in a doctor's office.

"Timothy!" Ducky yelled at him, quickly noting the name plaque on the office reading _Dr. Hogan_. "Calm down!"

"Mr. Mcgee I am so sorry that I missed this…" Doctor Hogan apologized profusely.

"SORRY?" Tim yelled in disbelief. "Sorry could have possibly made up for her giving birth in her office this morning, but not this. It's Christmas… and it's been the worst day of my life." He said before collecting himself. "If she dies… I'm holding you personally responsible." He said softly before leaving his office.

"Timothy…" Ducky tried to console him.

"I don't want to hear it." Tim assured him. "I lost _everything_ today."

"Timothy!" Ducky said sharply causing Tim to abruptly turn around. "She's not dead yet, don't treat her like she is."

Tim sighed as he hung his head before going back to Abby's room. He knocked gently at the doorframe. "Can I come in?"

Abby nodded as she tried to wipe her tears from her face. "Oh sweetie." Tim said softly as he pulled her into his arms.

"I can't believe this…" Abby muttered into his shoulder. "I can't… I can't do this…"

"Shhh." Tim said softly as he ran his fingers through her hair, trying to ignore the pressing thoughts of what the chemotherapy she would undoubtedly have to endure would do to her hair. "You're so strong Abs…"

"Strong doesn't fix everything Tim." Abby said as she collapsed back into her pillows. "I'm so tired…and so scared…"

Tim was trying to formulate a response when Ducky knocked at the door. "Timothy I'm sorry to interrupt but Jethro is on the phone wondering if there's news."

Tim motioned for him to bring him his phone. "Gibbs?"

"Is everything alright? Is there any news?" Gibbs asked hesitantly.

Tim sighed. "No Gibbs… nothing's alright. You should probably come to the hospital…"

* * *

><p>"What's wrong?" Gibbs asked as soon as he rushed through the door and saw Abby lying in Tim's arms.<p>

"Gibbs." Tim choked out, trying desperately to keep his emotions in check.

Abby turned over so her pale green eyes were in the view of Gibbs' bright blue ones. "I have leukemia Gibbs."

Gibbs pinched the bridge of his nose. "How bad?"

"Very." She replied softly.

"What can I do?" He asked her gently.

Abby choked up. "Hug me?" She requested softly, somehow nervous about what his response would be.

"Of course." He said softly as he gently pulled her into his arms, not wanting to hurt her.

"What are you looking into as far as treatment?" Gibbs asked after he sat at the foot of the bed.

"It has to be aggressive." Tim replied softly. "Her Leukemia is acute and it's been developing for sometime…"

"How could this happen?" Gibbs asked trying not to panic on the outside even though his mind was reeling. "How… did they not notice?"

"Most of the symptoms are similar to those of pregnancy." Ducky said softly from a chair in the corner. "It's not the ideal situation Jethro, but the doctors are doing as much as they can to make sure she gets the treatment she needs."

"But is that enough?" Gibbs asked impatiently.

"Jethro." Ducky hissed. "Can I speak to you in the hall?" Gibbs sighed as he followed Ducky into the hallway.

"What Duck?"

"Jethro you have to be more patient than you've ever been about anything today." Ducky chided him.

"I am being patient!" Gibbs protested.

Ducky shook his head. "No… Gibbs you're not… And I understand why." He said and continued before he could interrupt him. "Abby is like a daughter to you and it hurts to think that her doctors maybe didn't care enough, or weren't careful enough when they were checking her…"

"THAT'S BECAUSE THEY WERENT DUCK!" Gibbs yelled back before sighing in defeat as he sat in a chair in the hall.

Ducky shook his head. "They did everything they were supposed to…"

"I can't lose her Duck… I can't lose another girl." Gibbs said softly.

"I know this is hard… but we have to support Abigail and Timothy no matter what treatment options they chose." Ducky said gently.

"Treatment is treatment isn't it?" Gibbs asked blankly.

"Yes… But it would make Abigail very sick. Depending on what they decide they could opt out of treatment." Ducky said softly.

"YOU MEAN JUST LET HER DIE?" Gibbs screamed angrily. "No I won't let them…"

"Jethro!" Ducky chided. "I'm telling you it's a possibility, not that I think they're going to." He reminded him. "I just need you to be ready to accept their decision no matter what it is."

"I can't just accept…" Gibbs began to protest.

"Gibbs this isn't your choice, its Abby's." Ducky reminded him as he sat down next to him. They sat in silence for several minutes before Gibbs spoke up again.

"Tony and Ziva are going to call for news…" He said softly.

"They have to find out from Abby." Ducky said just as quietly. "You can't tell them Jethro."

"What am I supposed to tell them?" Gibbs asked obviously frustrated.

"That for now, Abby's fine."

"But she's not!" Gibbs replied. "I can't just lie to them… make them assume that this isn't coming!"

"For now… she's fine." Ducky replied calmly. "She's in pain, but nothing's going to happen today."

"Isn't today the most important day?" Gibbs asked, obviously confused.

Ducky sighed. "Today's going to be a hard day, but tomorrow's going to be more important. Treatment decisions will have to be made tomorrow and that's also going to be hard, but it's the more important part of the next forty-eight hours. We'll get everyone in here by then."

"Oh… no… Caitlin and Stace..." Gibbs said in realization. "They can't take this…"

"They're going to be alright." Ducky said gently, completely unsure of himself. "But we should get them all here as soon as possible."

* * *

><p>Tim could hear them coming from down the hall.<p>

"Sienna please stop crying." Ziva's voice said, obviously strained through Sienna's wails. Tony's voice could be clearly heard flirting with a nurse, and Caitlin and Anastasia were having a broken sign language and speech conversation.

As soon as they rounded the doorframe into the room Tony spoke up. "Ab…" He began enthusiastically before he looked over and saw her lying, clearly exhausted on her bed. "What's wrong?"

Tim looked over at the group of people who had been so excited moments ago, but had fallen to silence within seconds, even Sienna had calmed down. "Come on over guys." Tim said softly as he gently rubbed Abby's arm to wake her up.

"No…" Abby said as she pulled her bruised hands out from under the blankets.

"Abby what happened?" Ziva asked, clearly concerned. "Did they hurt you?"

Abby shook her head, very slowly. "It's from when I squeezed your hands…" She admitted.

"Oh Abby…" Tony said sadly. "You a bit tired?"

"Alright everyone." Tim said in order to get them to stop talking. "Abby wants me to tell you guys what's happening. And she wants you all to stay calm."

"Abby whatever's wrong we're on your side." Tony assured her, gently squeezing her hand.

"Ow." Abby muttered into Tim's chest.

"Gentle Tony." Tim said as if he were talking to an overly aggressive three year old. "Come here girls." He motioned to his daughters to come sit on the edge of the bed. "Your mom's sick." He said after several moments of silence.

"What's wrong?" Caitlin asked softly.

Tim hesitated for quite some time before he spoke up, "Your mom has a cancer called Leukemia."

Caitlin's brow furrowed before she ran out of the room tears streaming down her face.

"I'll go…" Ziva said as she gently handed Sienna to Tony before quickly going out of the room after her, desperately trying to make sure her emotions didn't crumble. Ten minutes later she found Caitlin sitting halfway down the stairwell. "Hey." Ziva said gently as she sat down next to her.

"Why are you here?" Caitlin asked as she furiously wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Because I know how you feel." Ziva said softly as she put her hand on her shoulder.

Caitlin looked up at her, rage burning in her blue eyes. "NO YOU DON'T!" She screamed angrily. "NO ONE… NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND!"

Ziva sighed. "Caitlin, I know I've spent more time with your sister than you, so you don't know a lot about my past, but I lost my mother when I was about your age. It's so scary…"

"She's not going to die Ziva." Caitlin replied angrily. "How dare you say that I'm going to lose her." She hissed under her breath.

Ziva looked down at the girl who was visibly shaking from fear. "Come here." She said softly before pulling her into a hug, which Caitlin gratefully accepted as she once again broke down into tears. "It's going to be okay…"

* * *

><p>Tim was gently rubbing Abby's arm when a nurse knocked at the door. "Come in." He said softly, not wanting to disturb whatever rest Abby was managing to get.<p>

"I thought Abby might want to see Ryan." The nurse said before she wheeled a small cradle into the room.

"Thank you." Tim said sincerely before gently waking Abby. "Someone's here for you."

"Tell them to go away." Abby replied crankily.

"It's Ryan." Tim whispered into her black curls. Abby shoved her face into a pillow and mumbled something in return. "What Abs?" Tim asked softly before Abby flipped over obviously annoyed.

"I don't want him here." Abby said angrily.

Tim inhaled sharply attempting not to take offense by her comment. "Abby he needs you. You're his mommy."

Abby shook her head. "I can't be his mom." She replied anxiously.

"Abby… you can and you are." Tim assured her as he gently lifted his son from the cradle. "Just hold him Abs."

"I can't…" Abby panicked gently pushing them away.

"Abby…" Tim pleaded as he cradled his son to his chest for protection. "You have to."

"NO I DON'T!" Abby said, shoving Tim away.

Tim clutched onto his son, terrified for his safety. "Abigail!" Tim cried as soon as he was sure Ryan was still okay.

"GET OUT!" Abby yelled at him. "I NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN!"

"What's going on!" Gibbs exclaimed as he and Ducky rushed into the room.

Tim was at the end of his emotional rope as he hung onto his son. "Deal with her." He said angrily before going into the hallway.

"Abigail?" Ducky questioned.

"I never want to see him again." Abby replied as she pushed the tears away that were streaming down her cheeks.

"Timothy?" Ducky asked softly.

"Ryan." Abby admitted softly.

"Oh Abs." Gibbs said softly desperately trying not to let his emotions spill over.

"I can't do it." Abby said quietly.

"Yes… Yes you can Abby." Gibbs assured her.

"No…" She said suddenly looking extremely sick.

"Jethro…" Ducky warned as he quickly passed a bin from beside the bed to him just in time for Abby to empty whatever was left in her stomach. Gibbs sat quietly with Abby waiting for her to speak again.

"I'll be back." Ducky replied before quickly heading into the hall after Tim. "Timothy!" Ducky called as soon as he saw him.

"Ducky…" Tim began.

"I know Timothy." Ducky said softly, waiting a moment before speaking again. "Have you called your parents?"

Tim shook his head. "I haven't talked to them in years Duck."

"Timothy?" Ducky asked in surprise. "When did that…"

Tim sighed. "The last time they came to visit… Abby had a major meltdown."

"Oh dear." Ducky replied quietly. "How bad?"

Tim looked up. "Do you remember when Abby and I disappeared for a month?"

"Timothy…" Ducky said softly, feeling so much empathy for the young man in front of him.

Tim sighed. "My parents just couldn't understand how I could love someone with so much 'baggage' as they called it." He explained. "They wanted to take Stace and Katie with them for awhile, but Caitlin refused… She understands… they both do."

"It's good that you've explained this to them… They should understand why Abby has such a hard time." Ducky encouraged him.

"Trying to explain post-traumatic stress disorder to a eight year old was the hardest thing I ever did." Tim admitted. "But they both understand when she's having an 'episode' that she really just needs space and a lot of love…" That's when Tim realized he had been going about the present situation completely wrong. "Space and a lot of love." He muttered under his breath before practically running back to Abby's room.

As soon as he was there he gently put Ryan in his cradle, where Gibbs took over watching him. Tim quickly rushed over to Abby and pressed his lips gently to her forehead."I'm sorry Abby… I shouldn't have been pressuring you so much." Abby quivered as she desperately tried not to cry. Tim could feel her shaking just from holding her hand. "Hey… it's okay to cry Abs." Tim assured her.

"But I don't want to." Abby admitted, finally letting the tears stream down. "I don't want to waste whatever I have left moping about things."

"Abs…" Tim said feeling the dam in front of his emotions breaking. "You're hurt… It's okay to cry."

Abby shook her head as she choked out several sobs. "I'm so scared." She admitted.

"I know." Tim said as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "I am too Abs." He assured her. "But we're going to be okay Abs…" He attempted to comfort her.

"I'm such a failure…" Abby said quietly.

Tim shook his head. "No Abby. You're so much more than you think you are."

"How… How can you see anything good in me anymore. All I've done is fail." Abby muttered softly.

"No Abby…" Tim said, desperately wanting to tell her all the things he was thinking, but unable to put them into words. "You're so perfect Abs."

"No… no I'm not." Abby replied quietly, clearly starting to fall asleep.

"Abby I know you're tired… So I want you to rest… But rest knowing you've made the best choices alright?" Tim said as he felt her lean against his chest, and her breathing starting to slow. "You did what was right Abs." He said softly as she drifted off to sleep.

_**Author's Note: Hey guys! Thanks so much to all of the readers! I got a request for more frequent updates so I'm officially scheduling an update for every weekend at the least. Sorry I can't do more frequent than that, but I have school and work… so yup. Also the next chapter is kind of a shout-out to the 200**__**th**__** episode! I'm very excited because I loved that episode so much! Please Review!**_


	5. A Different Reality

Dreams are a curious thing and at times they can often time become very enlightening. This is where Abby found herself, in a deep sleep, in a deep dream.

"Gibbs?" Abby asked finding herself and him alone in his basement. "I thought we were at the hospital…" She said curiously as she looked around for the crib that Gibbs had been building for her son. "Where's the crib?" She asked after a long silence.

"Abby there is no crib here." Gibbs replied as he picked up a sander and moved over to parts of yet another boat.

"Here is… where?" Abby asked curiously.

"Here is where you could be." Gibbs replied without much thought.

Abby thought about it for a second. "You mean… this is what my life could be like if I hadn't made all those stupid mistakes?"

Gibbs shrugged. "You might not think they're mistakes after Abs." Gibbs said gently and he suddenly became hazy as Abby quickly found herself back in her old apartment.

"Mom!" A voice rang through the room.

"Caitlin?" Abby called back, surprised to see a different version of herself standing at the kitchen counter.

"Morgan for the seven hundredth time I will not drive you to that party." She watched herself say.

"Mom!" The girl replied before a tall teenager walked into the kitchen sporting dangerously high heels and a horrifyingly short mini dress. "It's not fair! Everyone's going to be there!"

"I don't care if everyone's going to be there, you're not getting drunk just to go to school tomorrow morning Morgan." Abby watched herself say.

"I HATE YOU!" Morgan screamed at her.

"WELL YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH THAT!" She screamed back as Morgan slammed her bedroom door.

Abby looked at herself in shock. "Where's Caitlin… and Stace… and Ryan?" She muttered under her breath. "Who's Morgan?" Suddenly Abby found herself arriving at work. "Please let this be normal…" She mumbled.

"Susan?" Mcgee called from the bullpen as the elevator doors slid open.

"Timmy I need help!" She called in a high pitched voice that Abby recognized immediately. Abby rushed toward the elevator, by now having figured out that no one could see or hear her. She saw Susan Grady, the polygraph lady standing in the elevator carrying two baby carriers with a diaper bag at her feet.

"Hey Honey." Tim said as he pressed his lips to Susan's as he took one of the baby carriers from her. "How are my little boys doing?" He asked in a babyish voice as he also picked up the diaper bag from the floor.

"They are feeling extremely obnoxious and like they don't want their mother to get any sleep. Or feel happy." Susan said as the pair went back to the bullpen. Both Tim and Susan set the baby carriers down on the empty desk across from where Tony's desk would be.

"Well I can help with some of that." Tim said with a smirk as he captured her lips and pushed her back so she was seated on his desk.

"No… no no no no no." Abby screamed desperate to pull them apart but knowing she couldn't do anything. Just then the elevator announced its arrival again and Tony and other-world-Abby came into the room.

"Abby it's not your call as to what Morgan can or can't do." Tony said angrily.

"She's just as much my daughter as your daughter." Abby watched herself argue back. "I'm not sending her to a party where there's obviously going to be drugs and alcohol."

"She's only going to be a senior once Abby!" Tony exclaimed. "Just let her go!"

"NO!" She screamed back. "I'm not taking her and you're going out tonight!"

"We've talked about this!" Tony argued.

Abby watched herself sigh angrily. "Look if you wanted your daughter to go to parties like that then you knocked up the wrong chick." She replied before storming out of the bullpen.

Abby practically collapsed against the wall trying to figure out what was going on in whatever alternate reality she was trapped in. _I… I had Tony's baby… Tim and I aren't together. I didn't even talk to him… Susan called him Timmy… He's __**my**__ Timmy. _She thought through before she suddenly found herself changing to a different scene. She was out on an open road and cars were whizzing past her. She was looking for any sign of familiarity when she saw Tim's Porsche in the distance. She was waiting desperately for something to happen when suddenly she heard the screeching of tires and watched a semi truck spin out of control and flatten Tim's car in the process.

"NO!" Abby screamed out running desperately through the cars. "Timmy… Timmy…" She was muttering as she ran over the rubble and into the scene, desperately wanting to rip the car door open but finding herself unable to grasp onto the handle. "NO! TIMMY I NEED YOU!" She said before collapsing into the rubble in shock.

Moments later she found herself back in Gibb's basement. "WHAT HAPPENED?" She yelled angrily. "WHERE WERE YOU! WHERE WAS ZIVA!"

"I'm gone Abs." Gibbs said quietly. "In this world you and Ziva never became friends, and Ziva never became part of the team."

"But…" Abby argued to herself.

"Because Ziva wasn't here when I was in a coma, after I woke up I never remembered you." Gibbs began to explain. "I went back to Mexico and got shot."

"Just like that?" Abby asked in disbelief. "How come Tony and I had a baby?"

"When you found out I was gone you went to Tony for comfort because Mcgee was too busy writing." Gibbs said awkwardly.

"YOU MEAN I GOT PREGNANT BECAUSE OF A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH DINOZZO?" Abby screamed angrily.

"I'm afraid so." Gibbs said gently.

"Well why is he so… distant from our daughter?" Abby asked as she pulled up a stool.

"Maybe you should see her birth…" Gibbs suggested and suddenly Abby felt herself moving to a different scene. This time she found herself in a hospital staring at herself clearly miserable in a maternity ward bed. That's when she realized she was alone.

Just then a nurse came in. "Ms. Sciuto are you sure there's no one else we can call?" Abby shook her head as she grunted through her obvious pain. "You have a Mr. Timothy Mcgee listed as next of kin."

"DON'T CALL HIM!" She screamed at her. "I don't ever want to talk to him again."

"Alright Ms. Sciuto… Anthony DiNozzo isn't responding… and you're nearing 10 centimeters are you sure you don't want someone."

"I'm sure…" Abby replied before grunting as another contraction gripped her.

Abby watched painfully as she watched herself struggle through the pains of childbirth alone. _Where's Tony…_ Abby thought and she suddenly found herself in Tony's apartment.

"Oh Tony…" A woman's voice cried from the bedroom.

"HANG ON!" Abby yelled finding herself back at Gibbs's basement. "He was screwing someone else while I gave birth to his daughter… No… NO!"

"Calm down…" Gibbs suggested.

"NO!" Abby screamed. "Why weren't Tim and I talking?"

"You were dating him when Tony got you pregnant." Gibbs said as he took a swig of bourbon.

"WHAT?"

"Nothing here is the same Abs." Gibbs assured her.

"Everyone I love… Ziva?" Abby asked hoping someone was still there.

"Dead." Gibbs replied quietly.

"Mcgee…"

"Dead."

"You?"

"Dead Abs."

"Tony?" Abby asked hopefully.

"He's not really involved with your and Morgan's lives. He just puts in his input."

"So the only person left here is Tony… and I hate him?" Abby asked softly.

"Pretty much." Gibbs replied gently.

"Why is it so terrible here?" Abby asked quietly.

"Every choice you make has a consequence. Every single second a single choice you make splits off into hundreds of a hundred different possibilities of reality. Some realties, are better than ever, others worse than you can imagine." Gibbs explained.

"Then why am I here?" Abby asked softly.

"Sometimes these different realities are closer than they normally are and people who are asleep can visit other realities." Gibbs said softly.

"But I don't want to be here…" Abby admitted.

"You can leave whenever you wake up." Gibbs assured her.

"But… I didn't get to see…" Abby thought aloud. "I have a different child in this reality… If I leave who's going to love her?"

"Abby you're already in this reality." Gibbs reminded her.

"But… I'm not…" Abby protested, realizing just how different her life would be if she had just made one choice differently. "Do… do I have cancer here?" Abby asked after several moments of silence.

"Abby no matter what reality you're in you always will have certain things happen to you. Your leukemia is one of those things." Gibbs said softly.

Abby looked down at her hands. "How come… I'm not sick though?" Abby asked quietly.

"Abby here is very sick Abby… But you have no one to care for or worry about you. When you throw up Morgan assumes it's because of how much you drank… not because you're sick." Gibbs explained. "You're suffering, but you just assume it's because of your depression. You don't want help."

"Why… Why wouldn't I want…?" Abby asked obviously terrified.

"You've hurt so many people here Abby… You don't want to cause any more pain than necessary." Gibbs said gently.

"What about Ducky? Why isn't he around? He would care!" Abby mumbled quietly.

"Ziva wasn't around to help us find him when he was kidnapped." Gibbs said softly. "He died that day."

Abby burst into tears. "What can I do?" Abby begged. "This isn't the way it has to be… Tony loves me… he would understand… he would care!" She insisted.

"Tony doesn't care here… Tony wants you to be as far away from him as possible." Gibbs informed her.

"Then why do I still work with him?" Abby asked quietly.

"Jenny." Gibbs admitted quietly.

Abby's eyes bulged. "Jenny?" She asked quietly.

"Jenny is still looking out for you here."

"I have to see her." Abby begged softly.

Gibbs shook his head. "You have to go back now Abs." He said softly.

Abby shook her head angrily. "No… I have to see Jenny!" She protested furiously as she felt herself waking up. "NO!" Abby screamed as she woke up with a start.

"Abby?" Tim asked quickly, obviously concerned. "What's wrong… what's the matter?" He begged quietly as Abby sobbed into his chest.

"Jenny… and Tony… and Ziva… and Gibbs… And you…" She whimpered.

"Shhhh… What happened?" Tim asked as he rubbed her back.

"I hated Ziva… and she went back… and then she died and Gibbs died and you hated me and then Tony hated me and then we had a baby but she was terrible and then you married Susan and you had two baby boys and then you and the babies got flattened by a semi but I couldn't help you because I wasn't really there and then you were gone but the only person left who cared about me was Jenny because Ducky had died and it was all my faultbut I had already caused so much trouble so I didn't do anything about feeling sick and so now I'm there with leukemia but I don't know about it and all Tony wants is for our baby to get drunk and sleep with every high school boy on the planet…" Abby said quickly to the point where Tim could barely understand what she was saying.

"Slow down…" Tim requested softly.

Abby shook her head. "Everything here is so perfect… I'm sorry I ever said I was a failure."

"Don't apologize Abs." Tim said gently still confused about what was going on.

"I have to see Ziva." Abby said quietly.

Tim looked down at her. "She's not here… She took Caitlin and Stace out."

"I _have_ to see Ziva." Abby pressed. "I'll go find her if I have to…" Abby said as she started to climb out of her bed.

"Whoa there." Tony said as he came into the room. "Where you goin there stallion?" He said jokingly.

"Tony!" Abby exclaimed as she reached out for a hug. "I'm so sorry." She whispered. "I'm so so sorry."

Tony looked at her in surprise. "For what?"

"For not appreciating you. I didn't know how much you meant to me until I thought about what it would be like if you weren't here." Abby admitted.

"Abby I'm sure I'm not…" Tony tried to push her off.

"No… Tony you mean so much to me… So so much." Abby said as she pulled him in for another hug.

"Alright then Abs." Tony said gently. "What can I do for you."

"I need Ziva." Abby replied softly.

"I'll get her for you… just stay here." Tony requested before running out.

"Abby why is it so important to you…" Tim began to ask.

Abby shook her head. "I can't explain… But I have to see Ziva."

* * *

><p>"Abby?" Ziva's voice rang down the hallway as she ran through her door.<p>

"ZIVA!" Abby exclaimed.

"What's wrong?" She asked out of breath.

"I had to see you." Abby admitted softly as tears fell down her face.

Ziva smiled at her best friend. "I'll always be here for you Abby." Ziva assured her as she hugged her.

"I'm counting on it Zi…I'm counting on it."

_**Author's Note: I know this chapter is a bit shorter than most but I didn't have a lot to say for it. I just really wanted to write it. I hope the AU AU wasn't too strange. It's now time for me to start the homework for the weekend… Now that it's almost over :P Please Review!**_


	6. Things Get Harder

Tim sighed as he fell down onto the bed in Abby's hospital room. Abby was out for a walk with Gibbs and Ducky, and Ryan had finally fallen asleep. It was his first moment of silence in days. Everything had gone from so simple to so complicated in a matter of hours and he had simply been going with the flow for so long, he hadn't noticed how exhausted he was.

He was nearly asleep when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. "Hello?" He answered groggily without looking at the caller ID.

"Tim!" Sarah's voice rang through the phone sounding desperate.

"What's wrong?" Tim asked, immediately concerned, despite how exhausted he was.

"Mom and Dad." Sarah said softly. "They just showed up, and they're insisting on seeing you. They want to apologize…"

"Sarah it's not a good time…" Tim tried to cut her off.

"I know the babies are due soon, but mom insists… I just wanted to give you a heads up that she'll probably be heading your way soon." Sarah explained. "I didn't say anything about the babies…"

"Sarah." Tim cut her off abruptly. "We're not at home." He said with a sigh.

"Are you at work?" Sarah asked, not catching the remorse in his voice.

"We're at the hospital." Tim said quietly.

"Abby's having the babies?" Sarah asked nervously.

Tim swallowed. "Abby had the babies three days ago." He admitted softly.

"Is something wrong? Why is she still in the hospital?" Sarah asked desperate for information.

Tim sighed as he flipped over on the bed. "Sarah… are you sitting down?" He questioned softly.

"Tim tell me what's wrong before I have a heart attack!" Sarah insisted.

"Abby has Leukemia." Tim said simply, knowing it was just a fact at this point.

Sarah was silent for a moment before she replied. "NO!" She screamed angrily. "NOT ABBY! SHE DOESN'T DESERVE IT!" She said before breaking down.

"Sarah… It's not a good time for Mom to try and apologize… Just… Give her the phone." Tim requested.

Five minutes later his mom's voice came through the phone. "Timothy?"

"Mom." Tim said sternly.

"We were thinking we would come over to see you and the girls this afternoon, will you be at home?" She asked rather excitedly.

"No Mom… We won't be at home. We won't be at home for awhile. And before you ask why let me tell you why. Abigail just gave birth to twins, one of which stopped developing only a few months into her pregnancy. Throughout her pregnancy she had health problems that were dismissed to be various problems associated with pregnancy. When the problems didn't stop after delivery they ran some more tests, and discovered that Abby has Leukemia." He explained quickly. "Right now isn't a good time to talk, I have to go back down to the nursery in a few minutes." He said before simply hanging up his phone.

Tim hadn't been lying down for more than five minutes when a knock sounded on the door. "Mcgee?" Tony's voice came through the door.

"Either come in and shut up or go away." Tim replied softly.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked mischievously as he came in and shut the door behind him.

"Tony what are you hiding?" Tim asked, not looking up.

"I just have an adorable little person here to visit her godfather." Tony said innocently as he bounced his daughter in his arms.

Tim couldn't help but chuckle as he sat up to receive her in his arms. "Hey Sienna." He said with a smile across his face. "Did you know that you're my favorite goddaughter?" He said blowing at her face. She giggled in response.

"Are you okay Tim?" Tony asked quietly.

Tim sighed. "We're going to hear back from MD Anderson today."

"Why do you want her to go to a treatment center in Texas of all places?" Tony asked gently.

"They're the best Tony. It's not that I want her to not be here, I just really want what's best for her health." Tim said as Sienna reached for his sandy hair.

"Are you all going to Texas?" Tony asked quietly.

Tim shook his head. "No matter how much I'd love to be with her… I can't just pick up and move away with three kids."

"Tim if you want to…" Tony tried to encourage.

Tim shook his head. "Financially… We can't handle that. Abby and I have talked about this. Over school breaks and every other weekend the kids and I will go visit her."

"Tim that's not…" Tony tried to protest before he saw Tim press his finger to his mouth as he pointed toward the door where Abby Gibbs and Ducky were coming into the room.

"How are you feeling sweetheart?" Tim asked as he climbed off the bed and over to his wife.

"Sore." Abby admitted softly as Gibbs and Ducky carefully helped her lay down.

"Are you okay?" Tim asked as he caught a glimpse of her already bruising calf. "What happened?"

"Calm down Timothy…" Ducky encouraged. "We had a bit of a run in with an overzealous five year old and his toy truck in the hall."

"No…" Tim said as he saw the purpling skin on his wife's leg. "Excuse me." He said softly before sliding out into the hallway. He paced back and forth several times before Gibbs emerged from the room.

"Mcgee?" Gibbs asked simply.

"How can I protect her!" Tim blurted. "If a five year old can do that to her on accident… What if she fell down the stairs… Or she dropped something on her foot?"

"Tim…" Gibbs tried to reason with him.

"I feel so inferior right now." Tim admitted. "Everything I do is completely inferior to what needs to happen and I can't figure out how to help her."

"Tim she's just as scared as you are, and both of you need to make sure that you're communicating regarding this." Gibbs encouraged.

"Just communication isn't going to give us what we need Gibbs… We have so many things to deal with right now…" Tim began. "I'm so wound up right now… If one more thing were to go wrong I would snap." He said, immediately regretting it as he heard a panicked yell coming from inside Abby's room. He quickly rushed through the door to find Tony panicking as Abby slumped sideways against Ducky. "What happened?" Tim asked quickly as he moved over to help Ducky stabilize Abby as she came around.

"Abigail how are you feeling?" Ducky asked her gently.

"Sick…" She said before turning green. Ducky quickly held the bin underneath her while Tim rubbed her back gently.

"Abby what can I do?" Tim asked quietly.

"Go home." Abby said softly.

Tim looked over at his wife helplessly. "I can't just…"

"GET OUT!" Abby screamed helplessly.

Tim looked over at her, terrified about what would happen if he left. "Abby I can't do that." He said softly as he held her hand gently in his. "I love you too much to leave you."

That was all it took for the waterworks to start. "Timmy." Abby moaned softly as she buried her face into his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay." Tim whispered softly as he gently rubbed her back. "Everything is going to work out."

"Timmy." Abby said again, feeling very lightheaded.

"I'm right here." He assured her just before she fell limp into his arms. "ABBY!" He cried out in terror. "DUCKY WHAT DO WE DO!"

Ducky quickly moved over to steady Tim's shaking arms. "Calm down Timothy… She'll come back around in a moment… Try not to disorient her… Her body is overly exhausted and she will occasionally shut down." He said calmly as he helped Tim gently turn Abby over to allow her to wake up in a less disorienting position.

"Please… Please…" Tim could hear himself whispering barely aware he was saying the words himself. He found a large amount of tension released when Abby's eyes fluttered open. "You alright Abs?" Tim asked her softly.

"I can't…" Abby said softly as she tried to relax.

"Abby, what can I do for you?" Tim asked softly.

"I want Ryan." She admitted quietly. "I have to get to know him…"

Tim couldn't help it but a huge smile spread across his face. "Absolutely Abs. I'll go get him right now." He said as he started to get up.

"Tim, I'll go get him… Stay here and let Abigail rest." Ducky encouraged before heading out of the room.

Five minutes later he returned with a nurse who was pushing the portable crib Ryan was in. "Someone's excited to see his mom." The nurse said with a smile as she gently handed him to Abby.

"Hey buddy." Abby said softly as she cuddled her son in her arms. "I missed you…" she whispered to him. "You're very special to me, you know that?"

Tim wasn't expecting to cry, but he was vaguely aware that his cheeks were no longer dry. "Abby he's so perfect." He said softly.

"He's so small…" Abby said quietly. "What… what if I drop him…" Abby said nervously suddenly.

Tim quickly moved his hands to support Abby's. "You won't… And if anything happens I'm supporting you… He'll be fine…"

Abby nodded nervously before refocusing her attention on Ryan. "Did you know that you have two big sisters?" She asked him softly. "They're both in love with you. Sometime soon they'll come see you again."

"They want to see you too Abs." Tim said softly.

"I don't want…" She said angrily before realizing she was scaring Ryan. "I don't want them to see me like this… Not right now." She said more quietly.

"Abby…" Tim tried to console her suspecting tears were coming.

"Tim you don't understand." Abby insisted becoming extremely angry. "I'm the weakest I've ever been… and I feel completely useless."

"Abby you'll never be completely useless." Tim assured her.

"Tim… I can't lift up anything heavier than five pounds. I can't feed my son. I can't even drive anymore. I'm stuck here as an invalid!" Abby said as she began to panic.

"Abby!" Tim said as he felt her hands beginning to shake on top of his. He quickly scooped Ryan out of her arms and handed him to Ducky. "Calm down…"

"NO!" Abby replied shaking even harder.

"Abby!" Tim insisted, her body completely shaking against his. "Please…" He begged as a machine in her room began to beep uncontrollably.

Everything from that point on seemed to run in slow motion. Tim felt himself being pulled out from underneath Abby by Gibbs and Ducky as several doctors ran into the room. He was vaguely aware that they were talking, but he could only focus on Abby's convulsing body on the bed. He could hear Ryan crying from his crib, but couldn't bring himself to let his eyes leave Abby. "Please!" He could hear himself begging. "What's wrong?" He asked starting to listen desperately for an answer. He could make out the words, "unconscious" and "panic attack" amongst the doctor's conversations. He watched as the doctors tried desperately to control her body. "Please!" He screamed, tears bursting. He winced painfully when an anguished cry came from Abby. That was the last straw. Tim pushed his way through the doctor's and took Abby's hand. "It's okay!" He cried over the noise. "I'm here." He said kissing the back of her hand desperately. Immediately Abby's body went limp, and the machine stopped beeping. "NO!" Tim screamed expecting the worst. He suddenly felt a sturdy hand on his shoulder and he turned around.

"She's going to be fine." Gibbs said firmly, assuring that Tim was understanding.

"What?" Tim asked out of breath.

"She's fine." Gibbs said again.

Tim looked over and noticed that underneath the stethoscope currently on her, her chest was clearly rising and falling. "Abby." He said looking around the room. Gibbs was hovering over him, looking very protective. Ducky had gone to Ryan's rescue and was gently comforting the infant. Tony had shown up due to all the racket and looked terrified. "Excuse me." He said abruptly before running out the door, tears drowning his face.

Tim didn't know where he was going, but he knew he needed to get out. He opened the door to the stairwell harshly and began to run down the stairs. Halfway down the second flight he tripped and flew down the stairs. "AUGH!" He let out a disgruntled cry as he landed, feeling his shoulder move in a way he never thought possible.

"Mcgee!" Gibbs called after him as he had followed him.

"Ugh." Tim replied, seeing blackness from the pain.

"Don't try to move." Gibbs said as he pulled out his cell phone. "It looks like you've dislocated your shoulder. If you move it will only make it worse."

"I can't do this Gibbs…" Tim said, his chest heaving.

"You can and you will." Gibbs replied holding him still. "Duck I need you to get a doctor." He said into his phone suddenly. "Tim fell down the stairs… He'll be fine but he dislocated his shoulder."

"Alright I'll get someone there as soon as I can." Ducky replied.

Gibbs hung up his phone. "Everything's going to be fine." He tried to calm down his agent. "Just stay calm, you'll be taken care of."

* * *

><p>"Tony!" Ziva cried as she ran down the hospital hallway, looking panicked.<p>

"Zi what's wrong?" Tony asked. "Is Sienna okay?"

Ziva nodded, out of breath. "She's at the Mcgee's, Sarah's watching her…"

"What's the matter?" Tony asked seeing her trying to hide her tears. "You can tell me anything." He assured her.

"My cousin… Gavriella." Ziva said softly. "Her and her husband Ruben… They were killed in a bombing…"

"Oh Zi…" Tony said quietly as he pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry."

"Tony you don't understand." Ziva insisted.

"What else Zi?" Tony asked gently.

"Their three kids; Leah, Micah, and Adi…" Ziva began.

"Ziva…" Tony said knowing exactly where this was going. "We don't…"

"Tony I'm not asking for your permission here. Ruben was Christian... Ari and I were their children's godparents. I'm not letting Leah, Micah, and Adi go to some orphanage that will be attacked." Ziva told him harshly. "They're on their way here right now."

"Ziva… We live in a two bedroom apartment we don't have room for three more kids." Tony insisted.

"Then we're moving." Ziva said sternly.

"Zi I don't want to move!"

"Well then I'm moving! And Sienna's coming with me." Ziva said angrily before turning away from him.

"Ziva you can't just take my daughter away from me!" Tony insisted.

"Tony… They're my family." Ziva insisted. "I know you don't understand that…"

"What do you mean I can't understand that!" Tony replied indignantly.

"YOU DON'T!" Ziva replied angrily. "If you did you would understand why this is so important to me!"

"What's going on?" Gibbs said as he saw them from down the hall.

"She wants to adopt three kids!" Tony said angrily.

"They're my godkids!" Ziva replied just as angrily. "I'm not sentencing them to death!"

"What about your father?" Tony asked. "Why can't he take care of them?"

"YOU KNOW WHY MY FATHER CAN'T DO THAT!" Ziva replied angrily.

"Ziver, what happened?" Gibbs asked gently.

"My cousin and her husband were killed in a bombing… Their three kids are already on their way here, I'm the only hope they have…" Ziva said, her emotional wall wearing very thin.

"Ziva…" Tony tried to console.

"NO TONY! You don't understand what it's like to grow up there! It's scary enough as it is. My father was _never_ there for me. I took care of myself… I can't let these kids grow up the way I did!" Ziva said tears falling down her cheeks.

"Hey Zi… Don't cry." Tony tried and he tried to give her a hug.

She simply responded with a slap across the face. "You… are a foul chauvinist pig!" Ziva yelled at him before turning to storm away.

"Ziver." Gibbs said gently as he softly grabbed her wrist. "Come here." He said as he hugged his surrogate daughter gently. "What do you need?" He asked quietly.

Ziva looked up at him, her chocolate eyes swimming with tears. "Save me." She said softly, trying to hide the pain she was feeling.

"Always Ziver." Gibbs replied quietly. "When are those kids getting here?"

"Tomorrow morning… Early…" She said as she wiped away her tears.

Gibbs nodded. "Alright, you go home. Get some rest." He instructed. "How old are the kids?"

"Leah's sixteen, Micah's eleven, and Adi's six." Ziva said carefully.

"Alright… I'll set up the guest room at my house for Adi and Leah. Micah can sleep on the couch and you can take my room." Gibbs informed her.

Ziva shook her head. "That's too much Gibbs…"

"Ziva, we're a family. We may have to make sacrifices for each other, but it's what family means." He insisted eying Tony. "We'll start looking for somewhere for you to live tomorrow afternoon."

"Thank you so much Gibbs." Ziva said. "I'm going to go pick up Sienna and go home."

"Ziva!" Tony tried to talk to.

"NO!" She shouted back. "You can stay as far away from me as possible. You are so far down on my priorities list right now!"

"Ziva!" Tony tried again.

"Tony… the only family from my childhood I had left died, I'm taking in three kids, and my best friend was just diagnosed with cancer… And somehow you have the nerve to try and make this even more difficult than it already is?" Ziva asked angrily. "You don't even deserve to have me listen to you… Don't come home tonight." She said before storming to the elevator.

"Gibbs…?" Tony asked.

Gibbs shook his head. "You don't have any right to try and make this more difficult for her."

Tony sighed, deciding it was best to change the subject. "How's Mcgee?"

"They're resetting his shoulder… He'll be fine."

"Everything is falling apart Gibbs…" Tony said in realization. "What did we do to deserve this?"

"Nothing…" Gibbs assured her. "It's just what we are right now DiNozzo… That's just how it's going to be."

_**Author's Note: Hey Guys! I'm sorry I missed last weekend, I had some personal stuff to deal with (I know I say that a lot but… Sorry you can't know everything about me) I'm going to do my best to get the next chapter up tonight to make up for it! Thanks so much for reading! Please review!**_


	7. I Love You

It was four in the morning and Ziva and Gibbs were sitting in the airport. Well, Gibbs was sitting holding Sienna in his arms, Ziva was nervously pacing back and forth as she tried to calm herself down.

"Ziver?" Gibbs asked softly.

"I'm sorry… I'm just really nervous… I never even met Adi in real life… I've seen pictures and I've talked to her on the phone… And it's been such a long time since I saw Micah and Leah… What if they…" Ziva began to panic again.

"Everything is going to be fine." Gibbs assured her. Moments later the arrivals board rang and the flight from Tel Aviv changed from Arriving to Arrived.

"They're here." Ziva said, clearly panicked as she ran toward the gate.

"Calm down Ziva. They'll be the first ones off the plane accompanied by the flight attendant." Gibbs reminded her softly, trying not to bother the already squirming infant in his arms.

It took several minutes but the three emerged from the gate accompanied by the flight attendant as promised. "Ziva!" Leah and Micah cried excitedly. Ziva felt tears in her eyes at the sight of the three. Leah was wearing a dirty pair of jeans and a loose grey sweatshirt. In her arms she was clutching onto Adi who was wearing an equally stained pair of jeans and a faded red jacket over a long sleeved blue shirt. Micah was also wearing jeans, his containing several holes, and he was wearing an equally faded blue jacket over his dirty white tee shirt. She knew they were coming with nothing, but didn't know exactly what it meant until now.

Ziva could feel the three bodies around her, but didn't know how to respond, so she simply smiled and awkwardly hugged the three of them. Finally Leah spoke up. "Ziva, you haven't met Adi." She said as she hiked the small girl on her hip. "Adi say hi to Ziva."

Adi looked over at her but said nothing. Ziva smiled at the little girl. "Hello Adi." She said finally. She wasn't prepared for the little girl to burst into tears.

Leah looked down at her little sister. "Mitescere Adi." She tried to calm her sister, who was most familiar with Latin. "Haec cura nobis Ziva quae deferretur." Leah looked over at Ziva awkwardly. "She's not usually this fussy." She tried to assure her.

"It's fine Leah… I'm used to a fussy little girl of my own." Ziva said pointing to Sienna in Gibbs' arms.

"You had a baby?" Leah asked excitedly and Adi looked over at the infant.

"Baby?" Adi asked curiously.

Ziva nodded as she took Sienna from Gibbs' arms. "Adi meet Sienna." She said gently. Adi quickly wriggled her way out of her sister's arms so that she could see Sienna better.

Adi looked at the infant with fascination. She gently opened and closed her hands as she waved at her. "Ziva is she my sister?" Adi asked quietly.

Ziva looked down at her with a small smile. "No sweetie. But it's going to be like she is because she'll live with us." She said gently.

Gibbs noted when Micah yawned deeply and leaned against his older sister. "Ziver it might be time to get these three to bed. They've been flying for quite some time."

Ziva nodded and handed Sienna to Gibbs so he could put her back in her carrier. "Alright kids." She said to get their attention. "This is Gibbs and we're going to be staying at his house for a little while."

"Is Gibbs our new daddy?" Micah asked, scrutinizing every inch of Gibbs.

Ziva turned bright red. " No… I'm not seeing anybody right now." She informed him awkwardly.

"How do you have a baby if she doesn't have a daddy?" Micah asked, clearly confused.

"Yeah, how do you?" Gibbs asked, his eyes wide in surprise. Had Ziva and Tony split up?

"It's complicated." Ziva said before shooting Gibbs a glare. "He's just a friend. You'll meet him soon."

"Ziver?" Gibbs questioned again.

"NOT NOW!" Ziva yelled back angrily scaring Adi, in her own right. "Oh Adi… I'm so sorry… I'm just a little wound up right now." She assured her before picking her up.

Adi simply squirmed until Ziva put her back down and she ran to Leah. "I want ima."

Leah looked sympathetically at Ziva as she picked up her little sister. "Shhhh. It's okay Adi. Everything's okay." She comforted.

"Come on, let's get home." Ziva said softly as she took hold of Micah's hand and headed to the parking garage.

* * *

><p>"Leah you and Adi can sleep in here." Ziva said quietly, trying not to wake up Adi who was asleep in Leah's arms, as she opened the door to the guest room. "Gibbs is going to be in the basement and I'll be down the hall in the bedroom. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask."<p>

Leah nodded thankfully before going in and shutting the door behind herself. Ziva sighed before going back to the living room to retrieve Sienna. She was walking down the hall when she heard the front door open and close. She immediately pulled out her SIG and prepared for the worst when she turned the corner. She was surprised to see Tony standing there holding Sienna.

"What are you doing?" Ziva hissed angrily, putting her gun back in its holster. "You can't just walk into someone else's house and pick up someone else's kid!"

"Ziva she's my daughter too!" Tony argued.

"DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked angrily. "Breaking up with Ziva without telling me wasn't enough for you, you have to keep it up and sneak into my house in the middle of the night to see her?"

"I didn't break up with Ziva!" Tony exclaimed, clearly confused. "We weren't ever together!"

"What?" Gibbs asked, in shock.

Ziva rolled her eyes. "I wanted to tell you but Tony insisted…"

Tony turned to her angrily. "I wasn't the one who wanted to keep her!" He exclaimed. "All I got out of this was tied down. Everyone thinks we're dating!"

"We're as good as Tony!" Ziva yelled back, no longer suppressing her anger.

"I would never date you Ziva. We were drunk okay? Why can't you just accept the fact that I will _never _love you and move on?" Tony asked angrily. Ziva's eyes were suddenly wide with hurt. "No… Zi that's not what I meant…" He tried to fix the situation, but it was too late.

The tears were falling. "_How could you?_" She asked feeling so much pain all at once.

"Zi…" Tony tried.

"NO!" Ziva yelled back. "If I'm such a burden for you then you don't deserve to see me or your daughter, so just leave… and NEVER come back." She said angrily before running down the hall and into the bedroom.

"Gibbs?" Tony asked quietly.

"Get out DiNozzo." Gibbs said sternly as he took Sienna from his arms. "And don't come back."

"Gibbs I know you want to fire me… But you have to…" Tony tried to beg.

"NO! I don't _have_ to anything." Gibbs said angrily. "And you should know I would fire you if I could, but what my agents do on their personal time is none of my business. So if you want to keep your job I would suggest you don't let it interfere at the office."

Tony hung his head as he left.

Gibbs set the sleeping infant back into her playpen set up in the living room before moving down the hallway. He knocked gently on the doorway. "GO AWAY TONY!" Ziva's voice rang angrily back at him.

Gibbs cracked the door. "It's me Ziver." He informed her before moving into the room. He sat next to her and ran his fingers through the curls in her hair. "You alright?"

Ziva shook her head, burying her face further into the pillow, trying to hide the pain.

"It hurts me too Ziver. To see you and Abby both in so much pain." He said softly. "I wish there was something I could do."

"Kill him." Ziva said softly.

"Ziva… do you love him?" Gibbs asked her gently.

"Of course not." Ziva replied, her voice wavering.

"Ziva." Gibbs chided.

Fresh tears made their way to her cheeks. "I think I do…" She admitted softly.

"Ziver it's okay to love people." Gibbs reminded her gently.

Ziva shook her head. "I always end up so hurt." She said softly.

Gibbs sighed gently as he helped her sit up. "Maybe it would help if you knew why you love Tony." He suggested.

Ziva wiped her eyes. "He's the only person who was always there." She admitted quietly. "He's hurt me, but he's never left me."

"Ziver…"

"No Gibbs you don't understand… This isn't something you can understand. He risked his life to rescue me in Somalia… He protected me from my father… He was there with me every step of the way during my pregnancy. Even though he didn't want the baby, he knew that letting me do it by myself would only hurt me. He's never left me…" Ziva explained. "Something I've never known from anyone else."

"That means a lot to you doesn't it Ziva?" Gibbs asked, even though he knew the answer, he just thought maybe she didn't.

"Tony… Tony means everything to me…" She said in-between sobs. "When he said… when he said… he'd never love me…"

"Shhhh." Gibbs said gently. "Everything's going to work out."

Suddenly there was a timid knock on the door. "Ziva?" Leah's voice came softly through the door.

"Come in sweetheart." Ziva replied as she furiously wiped away her tears.

"Are you okay?" Leah asked softly.

"Sweetheart, you need to know that life's a little bit complicated for us right now. Don't take that to mean I don't want, or love you, because I absolutely do love and want you." Ziva explained quietly. "There's a lot of people you'll meet later today, who are struggling with a lot of really hard things."

"Harder than losing your parents?" Leah asked, feeling a bit spiteful. Gibbs could feel the same pain Ziva was, but couldn't blame Leah for the way she felt.

"You might as well know what's going on. You're old enough to be able to handle it right?" Ziva asked. Leah nodded eagerly. "Abby and Tim, are very good friends of mine. A couple of days ago Abby gave birth to twins, one of which was still born. Less than twenty-four hours later Abby was diagnosed with Leukemia."

"That's terrible!" Leah exclaimed, feeling even sadder than before.

"Sweetheart, everyone is going to love having you here, and these things are difficult to be thrown into, but you need to understand things are difficult here too." Ziva explained. "I thought when I came here, there wouldn't be any problems, but there are."

"Why are you so sad?" Leah asked quietly.

"I… I love someone who doesn't love me back." Ziva told her sadly.

"Is it Sienna's abba?"

Ziva nodded sadly. "It's a difficult relationship, but apparently his actions mean far less to him than they to do me."

"I'm sorry." Leah said honestly.

"Me too…" Ziva said with a small smile before looking at the clock. "You should really go back to bed. I'm sorry I woke you." Leah nodded before going back to her room.

Ziva quickly got up off the bed and pulled a sweatshirt over her head. "Where you going Ziver?"

"I have to know Gibbs." Ziva replied quickly.

"Ziva I don't want you to get hurt!" Gibbs replied, feeling very protective.

"I'm going to be hurt either way Gibbs… I can't just sit around wondering if he really meant it." Ziva said as she took Gibbs' keys off from his dresser.

"Ziva…" Gibbs tried to stop her.

"Gibbs. I'm sorry, but I have to do this." Ziva said firmly before heading out the door.

* * *

><p>"I messed up Mcgee." Tony said softly in the hallway of the hospital as he sipped his coffee. "She's never going to let me see her or Sienna again."<p>

"Tony, you can't just give up on them now." Tim advised. "Some things are worth fighting for. Your daughter…"

"Tony." Ziva's voice said from down the hall.

"Ziva." Tony replied, promptly spilling his coffee all over his lap. "AUGH!"

"Tony!" Ziva cried running down the hall and stopping promptly in front of a red faced Tony. "Do you love me?" She asked him simply.

Tony looked at her. "Are you kidding me? I have hot coffee in places where hot coffee should never be and you have the nerve…"

"Tony! I have to know!" Ziva insisted.

Tony looked into her chocolate brown eyes, seeing all the hurt, hurt that he had caused. "I can't love you Ziva…"

"I don't care if you can or can't… Do you?" Ziva insisted.

Tony scanned her eyes one more time before sighing. "I don't know."

"Tony when you look at me… Do you imagine us together forever? Would you be willing to do anything for me?" Ziva asked him earnestly.

"Ziva…"

"Tony! I just need to know!" Ziva pressed anxiously.

"Ziva… I…" He said softly before moving so their lips touched. He was unsure of how to describe the feeling he felt, but he knew it felt safe. As soon as their lips parted. "I definitely love you." He assured her softly.

"You're not just saying that?" Ziva asked hopefully.

"If I just wanted to say it I would have said it one less cup of coffee down my pants ago." Tony assured her.

Ziva stood in his arms quietly for a moment before speaking up quietly. "I have four kids…" She said softly.

"We have four kids." Tony replied with a small smile.

"How are we supposed to take care of four kids? We can barely handle Sienna." Ziva said quietly, feeling somehow relaxed by the feeling of Tony's arms around her waist.

"Tony said you were looking for a house." Tim spoke up quietly. "The house next door to ours is for sale right now. It's old, but the inside has been remodeled. It's nothing fancy, but it has four bedrooms and three bathrooms just like ours."

"That sounds perfect." Ziva said softly, surprised how well things were actually turning out.

Tony looked down at her eyes. He would see a swell of emotions, he expected the hurt to be gone, but it wasn't. "Ziva?" He asked quietly.

Suddenly tears began to fall. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" She apologized, pulling away from Tony's arms.

"What's the matter?" He asked as her shaking figure wracked with sobs.

"It's not that big of a deal." Ziva assured him, clearly frustrated by her lack of control.

"Ziva…" He said softly.

Ziva looked up at him. "Abby." She admitted quietly.

Tony took in a deep breath. "You haven't seen her yet have you?"

Ziva shook her head. "Absolutely not… I've seen her… But…"

"It hurts?" Tony asked quietly.

Ziva nodded. "I have so many new responsibilities to think about… And among all of that… Abby…"

"I'm so sorry." Tony said softly as he pulled her into a gentle hug. "If there was something I could do that would make it all go away, I would."

Ziva sighed. "Can I just… go talk to Abby for a bit?" She requested softly.

"Of course." Tony said, kissing her forehead gently.

Ziva smiled softly before moving down the hallway to Abby's room. "Abby?" Ziva asked gently as she knocked on the door.

"Ziva?" Abby replied hopefully.

"Yeah." Ziva replied as she pushed the door open.

"Three new kids?" Abby asked with a smile.

Ziva shook her head. "Don't worry about it." She tried to alleviate her friend's worry.

"Ziva, let's just forget I'm sick for a minute, and talk about you." Abby requested softly as she patted the bed next to her. "Four kids Ziva?" She asked sympathetically.

"Abby… really don't worry about me." Ziva requested meaningfully. "You have enough to worry about."

"Ziva… I seriously care about you and what's going to happen to you. How are you going to take care of four kids by yourself?" Abby asked meaningfully.

Ziva blushed slightly. "Not by myself." She admitted.

Abby looked at her hopefully. "Tony?" She asked with a wide smile. Ziva nodded, a smirk on her own face. "Oh! I'm so happy for you!" She squealed as she pulled Ziva into a hug.

"Careful Abs." Ziva warned, desperately not wanting her to hurt herself.

"No okay seriously I need all the details." Abby said excitedly.

Ziva sighed, knowing Abby wouldn't give up. "It's kind of been unspoken for… While… Since… you know…"

"Sienna's conception?" Abby said with a smile.

Ziva blushed. "You are just enjoying making this awkward for me aren't you?"

"Absolutely." Abby assured her. "Now seriously when did this become official?"

"Ten minutes ago." Ziva replied.

"What the heck are you doing in here with me?" Abby asked in disbelief. "Tony just confessed his love for you and you're in here with mopey old me?"

"Abby there is no one else I would rather be with!" Ziva insisted. "You're going to Texas for who knows how long, Abby I'm not going to have a best friend until you're back! Every moment I spend with you is invaluable to me."

"Zi." Abby said softly. "I'm going to miss you too." Abby assured her.

"I can't even imagine what it's going to be like when the ladies of NCIS aren't going to be the ladies, and it will just be the lady." Ziva said jokingly.

"You're visiting me." Abby said immediately. "I'm not doing this without you."

"Of course not." Ziva assured her. "This is… this is big Abby."

Abby felt her emotional dam starting to break. "I know Ziva… everything is ruined… I'm so sorry…"

"No Abby… you didn't. Nothing is your fault." Ziva assured her, her own tears breaking through.

Several minutes later the two of them remained on the bed, tears falling, when their significant others made their way into the room.

"Abby!" Tim called out worriedly, as Tony exclaimed "Ziva!"

"What's wrong?"

"Is someone hurt?"

"Abby do you need something?"

"Ziva what can I do for you?"

"We're fine." Ziva insisted, wiping her tears. "It's just… hard… To think about things right now."

Tim nodded. He had been dealing with his own emotions all day. "It's hard." He said softly as he gave Ziva an awkward side hug.

"Ahem." Tony interjected. "I believe that's my job." He said softly as he took Ziva by the hands and pressed his lips to hers. "Everything will work out, for better or for worse, everything is going to work out." He assured her.

"Tony." Ziva said quietly. "I think that's the kindest thing you've ever said." She said teasingly.

"Shut up." Tony replied with a smirk.

"And there you ruined it." Ziva replied with a wider smirk.

"I love you Ziva David."

"I love you Anthony DiNozzo."

_**Author's Note: I know I know it's Tiva heavy but it's for two reasons. 1) I needed a less angst-y chapter to even out the storyline and 2) It goes with the storyline SO YAY STORYLINE! Thanks so much for the reviews. I've been groggily cranking this out through my current sickness. So hopefully it's not too crazy!**_


	8. Making Progress

Ziva had fallen asleep on their way back to Gibbs' house. This time with Tony driving and Ziva in the backseat, Ziva curled into a comfortable ball. They were pulling into the driveway when Tony turned to see her waking up. "Hey." He said softly.

"Why do I feel so confused?" Ziva asked quietly.

"You're exhausted." Tony replied with a smirk.

Ziva rolled her shoulders out as she sighed. "It's back to four kids." She said softly as she sat up.

"If you want to stay out here and rest…" Tony offered.

Ziva shook her head. "Leah, Micah, and Adi have been alone with Gibbs for hours, I'm sure he's at the end of his rope." She said as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

"I'm sure he's fine Ziva…" Tony pressed, knowing just how little sleep Ziva as running on. "Please… get some sleep… for me?"

Ziva shook her head. "I'm not abandoning my kids for you." She said, clearly frustrated.

"Zi are you okay?" Tony asked softly.

"Tony…" Ziva insisted.

"No seriously… You've been acting weird." Tony insisted. "Overreacting… You've been crying much easier than normal…" He started thinking. "You're not pregnant are you?" He asked, terrified of what would happen if the answer was yes.

"Really?" Ziva asked in disbelief. "You think I've had time to go out and get pregnant?"

"Why are you acting so strange then?" Tony insisted.

"DiNozzo… I'm female… One week a month I'm allowed to act however I want." She said angrily as she slammed the door to the car.

Tony's face flushed red. "Oh." He said softly.

Ziva nodded, her lips pursed. "Yeah… Oh." She replied angrily before going into the house.

"Ziva!" Tony tried to beg.

"Don't you dare hurt her." Gibbs said angrily as he grabbed his collar.

"Gibbs it's not what you think." Tony insisted.

"She goes to ask you if you really love her and she comes in pissed off at you. What am I supposed to think?" Gibbs asked, ready to attack.

"Gibbs!" Tony insisted. "I love Ziva… with every ounce of my being…She'll never forgive you if there's nothing left of me."

"Then why is she so mad?" Gibbs asked in disbelief.

"GIBBS!" Ziva screamed as she came back into the room to see him at Tony's neck. "GET OFF FROM HIM!" She insisted as she pulled Gibbs back, much to his shock. "Tony." Ziva said quietly as she wrapped herself in his arms. "How could you Gibbs?" She asked, tears of anger running down her cheeks.

"Ziver…" Gibbs tried to plead.

"No Gibbs… Why would you attack Tony?"

"I was trying to protect you!"

"Why would you need to protect me?" Ziva asked angrily. "I can and will take care of myself." She said before storming past Leah and Adi in the living room and into the back bedroom.

Gibbs stood there clearly dumbfounded. "What?"

"She's…experiencing…female issues?" Tony said awkwardly unsure of how to word the situation.

Gibbs turned just as red. "Ah."

"Yup."

"Okay then."

"Yup."

"Why are we standing here talking about Ziva's…"

"I don't know."

"Alright then."

"AUGH!" Ziva cried from the back room as a crashing sound echoed down the hall, causing both Adi and Sienna to begin crying.

"Ziva!" Tony cried as he rushed to the back room and threw the door open to see books scattered across the floor and a shelf on the wall had split in half. "Are you alright?"

"Tony I am fine." Ziva assured him. "It was more frustrating than anything else."

"Are you sure you weren't scared?" Tony teased.

"Snap it!" Ziva hissed.

"I think you mean zip it Zi." Tony said gently.

"Same thing!" Ziva replied angrily.

"I'm sorry Ziva… I shouldn't give you a hard time." Tony apologized. "You should really get some sleep."

Ziva shook her head. "I'm just going to take a shower and change. We need to go shopping for the kids, and work on the house situation."

"Ziva Gibbs and I can take care of those things. You and Sienna can stay here and rest." Tony insisted.

"Tony…You want to take two girls clothes shopping?" Ziva asked. "With Gibbs?"

Tony thought about it for a moment. "We can take Sarah and Abby's girls." Tony suggested. "I'm sure they'd like to get out of the house, and Sarah and Katie would be a huge help with Adi and Micah."

Ziva sighed, knowing she would soon be overcome with exhaustion. "I guess…" She gave in.

"Thank you sweetheart." Tony said giving her a gentle kiss. "You need your rest."

Ziva shook her head, clearly annoyed. "Let me just explain what's going on to the kids." She requested as she went back out to the living room. "Hey guys, let's have a little talk." Ziva requested as she sat down on the couch, picking Sienna up from her playpen on the way.

"You look really tired Ziva." Micah informed her helpfully.

"I am Micah." Ziva assured him. "That's why Tony is going to take you shopping."

"I thought you didn't like him." Leah said softly.

Ziva sighed. "Things change." She assured her. "I'm exhausted and I need to rest. You'll really like Caitlin and Anastasia."

"Who?" Leah asked.

"Tim and Abby's daughters are going to go with you." Ziva informed her.

Leah sighed. "Alright." She said softly.

"Come on let's go!" Tony said excitedly as he grabbed Adi's and Micah's hands. Adi promptly began screaming. "I'm sorry!" he apologized, clearly taken off guard.

Leah took hold of Adi's hand. "She's just shy." She assured him as the entire room, minus Ziva and Sienna went to the garage.

Ziva looked down at her daughter. "Hello." She said softly as she ran her finger along her baby's cheek. "You're beautiful." Ziva said quietly. "I'm so happy you're mine." She said gently as she stood up from the couch and went to the bedroom.

"Are you as tired as I am?" Ziva asked her softly and she was awarded a small yawn as a reward. "That's what I thought." She said as she held her carefully in her arms as she lie down. "Let's get some sleep."

* * *

><p>Tim was slowly walking around the hospital room with Ryan in his arms. "Hey buddy." He greeted him as he started to squirm. "Please don't wake up mommy." He begged looking over at Abby in the bed. She was beyond exhausted and she refused to sleep while she knew Ryan was upset. She was so determined to be a good mother.<p>

Ryan looked up at him with wide eyes. He was clearly debating whether or not to burst out in tears. Tim, deciding he really didn't want to risk it quickly moved into the hall.

"Timothy?" Tim suddenly heard from behind him, in a voice he hadn't heard in years.

"Mom." Tim replied calmly as he subconsciously held Ryan closer to his chest.

"Timothy Ryan Mcgee." She said, completely ready to yell at him but then he turned around with a bundle of blue blankets in his arms. "He's so small."

Tim nodded. "He's only a few days old." He pointed out. "Of course he's small."

"I'm sorry." Rita tried to apologize. "I shouldn't have…"

"Mom I don't want to hear about it." Tim said angrily. "You said _terrible_ things about my wife. Showing up now isn't going to change any of that it's only going to make me hate you more."

"Tim…" Rita tried again.

"Mom no." Tim hissed, careful not to upset Ryan. "You can't show up simply because you think now is a good time. Our lives have been turned upside down and you weren't there for any of it."

"Not by choice… You blocked us out!" Rita argued.

"YOU SAID SHE WAS INSANE!" Tim exploded causing Ryan to burst out into tears. "I'm sorry Ryan." Tim quieted immediately. "Daddy's so sorry." He said feeling ashamed of himself.

"Ryan?" Rita asked quietly, moving slowly toward him.

Tim quickly moved him closer to his body. "No." He replied simply.

"Timothy he's my grandson." Rita insisted.

"No… He's not." Tim replied. "Abby put so much of herself into this pregnancy. She gave up everything. There were so many moments when I thought her body was going to just stop. This baby isn't mine, it's hers. And you don't want her near your grandchildren, so there is no way this is your grandson." He said angrily. "Excuse me." He said before pushing past her and further down the hall.

"Tim!" Rita tried but Tim was past caring.

He walked for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only about ten minutes before he ran into Ducky.

"Timothy!" He said clearly concerned. "What are you doing here?"

Tim looked around. He wasn't exactly sure where 'here' was. "Where am I?"

"The morgue." Ducky replied immediately, quickly regretting it as Tim's face paled. "Timothy are you alright?"

"She's down here isn't she?" Tim asked softly, unaware that his grip on his son was slipping.

"Timothy, Ryan." Ducky reminded him as he put his own hand under Tim's to stabilize the infant's neck.

"She's here…" Tim said again, this time with much more need in his voice.

"Timothy focus." Ducky tried again.

"What's going to happen?" Tim pressed, feeling so much pain for his daughter.

"Timothy we've discussed this several times." Ducky reminded him softly. "There will be a service in a couple of days."

"I want to see her." Tim said softly.

Ducky shook his head. "Timothy we should go." He encouraged softly.

"She's my baby girl." Tim said softly finally letting it all sink in. "And… I never…"

"_Timothy_." Ducky insisted, this time completely taking Ryan from his arms. "Calm down."

"Calm down!" Tim screeched, and Ryan began to squirm.

"Timothy you're upsetting Ryan!" Ducky said harshly. "Ryan everything's alright. You're experiencing sensory overload but it's not going to hurt you." Ducky assured him as he swayed back and forth. "Your father just misses your sister. I bet you miss your sister too, don't you Ryan?" He said softly. "Many researchers believe that relationships between twins start in-utero. You probably feel pretty lost without her don't you?"

Ryan found Ducky's English tones soothing rather than upsetting and he curled up toward him with a small sigh. "That's right… everything's okay."

"Duck… I can't do this." Tim said as he slid down to the floor and put his head in his hands.

Ducky looked down at the baby in his arms. "Abigail worked… So hard for him." Ducky said quietly.

"I know that!" Tim insisted. "But… I can't take care of him." He said softly. "By myself…"

"Timothy." Ducky said, looking into Ryan's light green eyes. "Look at him." He requested as he lowered down to his level. "Look at his eyes Tim."

Tim peered into the blankets and saw a face he couldn't get used to, a perfect combination of his features and Abby's. "He's ours." He said quietly. "He's… Abby…"

"Ryan Charles Mcgee." Ducky said quietly. "He's so lucky to have a father like you." He assured him.

Mcgee was in a trance when his phone began to ring, catching him off guard. "Hello?" He asked monotonously when he got his phone out of his pocket.

"Timmy where's Ryan?" Abby's voice asked weakly through the phone.

"I'm so sorry." Tim replied immediately. "We went on a walk, I'll bring him right back."

"Okay." Abby said quietly and Tim hung up the phone.

"I've got to go… Abby wants Ryan." Tim said as he carefully stood up.

"Don't hurt her Tim." Ducky reminded him softly. "I'm sure you're a bit agitated due to your mother showing up, but Abby is immensely fragile right now."

Tim nodded. "I know Duck… I'm just as terrified as everyone else."

Several minutes later Tim gently opened the door to Abby's room. "I'm here Abs." He said softly.

"Ryan." Abby requested immediately.

Tim smiled, trying not to be hurt by the fact Abby didn't want to see him. He gently delivered Ryan to her waiting arms.

"There's my baby." Abby said quietly.

"Abby?" Tim asked after a few moments.

"Yes Timmy?" Abby questioned quietly.

"What's going to happen… to… our kids?" Tim asked, concerned that she wouldn't understand what he was trying to ask.

Abby looked down at the infant in her arms and tears began to fall. "I don't know…" She admitted softly. "Ryan's going to grow up without me."

"No he's not Abs…" Tim tried to console.

"I'm going to miss so much Tim. His first words, his first steps…" She said softly as she remembered all these things from her daughters' childhoods.

"I'm so sorry Abby. This wasn't supposed to happen." He murmured. "Everything was supposed to be about our baby…"

"I want to go home Timmy… I know I have to go to Anderson next week… But I want to spend my time at home until then." Abby was practically begging.

Tim nodded. "I'll see what I can do Abs." He promised before going out to find her doctor. "Doctor Samson?" Tim called after her.

"Ah, Timothy, I was just on my way to see Abby." She informed him. "You look a bit nervous." She observed.

"Abby wants to go home… Just short term." Tim reported.

"Ah." She replied. "Well… there would have to be precautions taken, but I'm sure it could be arranged." She explained before changing the topic. "I actually wanted to ask you about what the plans were regarding your daughter's services. I think it's very important for Abby to be there."

"Sometime early next week… I'm actually not sure how this is going to play out… It probably won't be a very big service…" Tim tried to explain.

"Don't strain yourself." Doctor Samson encouraged. "I know this is hard for both of you… Which is why I think it's important for Abby to physiologically get the closure that she needs." She explained. "However, I don't think she's physically able to stand through a traditional service."

Tim took in a deep breath. "I know." He said softly. "I just…"

"I'm sorry Timothy… I didn't want to bring…" Doctor Samson tried to console him awkwardly.

"It's fine." Tim excused her. "I'm going to go talk to Abby." He said before excusing himself.

As he approached her door he could hear weak sobs and gentle English tones soothing them. "Abby sweetie?" He asked gently. "What's wrong?" He questioned Ducky.

"She…" Ducky began before realizing telling him in front of Abby would only hurt her further. "Let's step outside." He encouraged softly. As soon as they were in the hallway Ducky spoke up. "She dropped him."

"He's okay right?" Tim asked immediately.

"Ryan is fine, he was a bit startled… But he fell about three inches…" Ducky explained.

"Why is Abby so concerned?" Tim asked. "She dropped Caitlin down the stairs once."

"She lost consciousness." Ducky explained softly. "And… She dropped him."

Tim shook his head before going back into her room and right to Abby's bed. "I'm so sorry Abby." He said as he pulled her into her arms.

"It's okay… you don't have to pretend that you still love me." Abby said as she tried to pull away.

"Abby…" Tim said, his eyes filling with tears.

"How could you love me?" Abby asked quietly. "I can't even…"

"Shhh." Tim said softly. "I love you Abigail Mcgee. I love you so much it hurts."

"Really?" She asked softly.

"You can't even begin to imagine what it feels like loving you." Tim said quietly as he stroked her hair. "Every time I feel your skin against mine I feel your whole life vibrating with mine… And it's so perfect." He assured her softly. "And even when things seem so terrible that I feel like I want to give up, I look at you, and you give me strength I didn't know I had."

"Timmy." Abby said softly.

"Yes?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

"What are you going to do when my hair falls out?" She asked quietly.

Tim looked at her, feeling so many emotions at once. "I'm going to give you my hand." Tim said, demonstrating gently as he put his hand in hers. "And you're going to think."

Abby nodded softly as she began tracing the lines on his hands. "I didn't mean to."

"I know that Abby." Tim encouraged. "Ryan is fine… You're fine." Abby tried to relax but found herself unable to. "You have nothing to worry about right now Abs." Tim assured her.

"I have so much…" Abby began to protest.

"No… Right now… you have sleep to worry about." Tim informed her importantly.

Abby smirked. "You think sleep solves everything." She said with a small laugh. "I used to think so too…But nothing seems like enough anymore."

"Oh Abs." Tim said softly. "I love you… I love you so much. We're going to go home soon I promise. We'll spend some time letting the girls get to know Ryan. I'll take the week off from work, and we'll just spend a week together as a family."

"That sounds nice." Abby admitted. "Can we have a real Christmas? With everyone?"

"Of course." Tim assured her. "We'll have a real Christmas dinner, and we'll open presents…" He continued on until Abby had fallen asleep. They sat in peace for nearly an hour before Ducky and Gibbs came in.

"How is Abigail doing?" Ducky asked softly, not wanting to wake Abby.

Tim nodded. "Progress… mentally anyway. Physically she's not much different, but she's gotten a much more positive outlook on the upcoming events."

"That's very good Timothy." Ducky assured him. "Her mental health is just as important as her physical health in this situation."

Tim nodded once again. "I know Ducky, I promise I know…"

"I think what Tim's trying to get across is that just because it's a good thing, it's not necessarily a comfort to him." Gibbs explained.

"Ah." Ducky affirmed. "Is there anything we can do for you?"

Tim thought about it for a moment. "Abby really wants to have 'Christmas' when she gets back home, which will probably be tomorrow. I don't have time to figure those arrangements out and keep Abby company."

"Enough said." Gibbs said with a nod. "We'll take care of everything, just keep Abby comfortable."

"Thank you… so much." Tim said softly. "It's time for there to be a good Christmas around here."

_**Author's Note: I'm so sorry this took so long to update! I'd like to be able to update more often but certain health problems aren't allowing me to. So thanks so much to all my loyal readers, I appreciate your support. Please Review!**_


	9. A Second Christmas

Abby was sitting quietly in the passenger seat of the car. "Abs we have to go in." Tim reminded her. "Everyone's inside waiting for us." He said gently.

"Tim… I don't want to." Abby admitted quietly. "It's not really freedom if I have to be in a wheelchair."

"Abby I know it's not your favorite option… But it's for your safety." Tim said before a high pitched noise came from the backseat. "Hey Ryan." Tim greeted his son happily. "Did you have a good nap?"

"He's going to need a bottle." Abby said softly.

"Let's go inside Abs." Tim replied. "Ryan needs a bottle made, and everyone is waiting."

"Tell them to go home." Abby demanded. "I don't want to…" She tried again before Caitlin came bursting through the garage door.

"I TOLD YOU THAT THEY WERE HERE!" She called into the house excitedly. Immediately both Ziva and Gibbs appeared in the garage doorway.

"Welcome home." Ziva said gently as she pulled a suitcase from the trunk.

Tim sighed. "Let's do this." He encouraged her softly as he got out of the car. "Gibbs could you get Abby's wheelchair inside?" Tim requested.

"Of course." Gibbs said as he lifted the folded metal object from the trunk.

Tim swung around and opened Abby's door surprised to find tears on her cheeks. "Please Timmy… Don't make me do this."

Ziva came back into the garage just then, this time with Adi clutching her hand. "Is she okay?" She questioned immediately.

"I don't want everyone to see me like this." Abby admitted softly.

"Abby." Ziva said softly as she tried to adjust her hand within Adi's iron grip. "Everyone has missed you so much. You are still Abby and we really want to spend time with you before you go."

Abby considered it for a moment before Ryan let out a high pitched scream in the backseat. "I guess I don't really have a choice…"

Ziva smiled gently as she put her arms around her best friend's shoulders. "That's the spirit." She said mockingly as she helped Abby gently out of the car.

"Ouch." Abby said as her abdomen straightened out.

"Oh I'm sorry Abby… I shouldn't have had you get up that quickly… I wasn't thinking." Ziva apologized profusely.

"It's okay Ziva." Abby said biting back her tears.

"Abby it's not." Ziva protested. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Abby nodded before they both looked down to Ziva's legs to find Adi cured around them. "Tim!" Ziva called and Tim reappeared in the garage having deposited Ryan and his car seat inside.

"Hey Abs." Tim said gently as he carefully switched with Ziva in supporting Abby's weight. "Let's get you inside."

Ziva carefully scooped up Adi and followed Tim and Abby into the house.

"Abigail how are you feeling?" Ducky asked Abby gently as he assisted her into her wheelchair.

Abby looked disoriented for a moment before looking back up at him. "I'm… I think I'm okay." She replied honestly.

**Mom? **Anastasia signed hopefully.

Abby held out her arms for a hug and Anastasia rushed quickly into them. Abby gently brushed her finger through her daughter's curls. As soon as she pulled away she began signing. **Sweetheart… I'm so sorry. **

** For what?** Anastasia asked clearly confused.

**Everything. I convinced you to come back home only to leave. **Abby explained.

Anastasia was about to reply when Leah tapped her on the shoulder, her fingers flying furiously. The two girls giggled before running off together.

"Leah signs?" Abby asked curiously.

Ziva nodded. "She's… she's an amazing girl." Ziva said as she looked over to the group of girls that had formed in the kitchen, slicing vegetables. "I was wondering yesterday if this was really all going to work, but Leah… Leah's so beyond helpful."

"Hey Zi Sienna's starving." Tony said as he came into the living room.

"Then get her a bottle." Ziva replied sharply.

"I tried that she won't drink it." Tony said clearly frustrated.

"Alright come to mommy." Ziva said as she accepted the infant into her arms. "Hello baby." She said softly as she tickled her cheeks. "I thought you were going to drink from a bottle. We've been doing that for a good month now sweetie." She said softly before sighing. "Abby would you mind if I used your bedroom?"

Abby shook her head and Ziva headed up the stairs.

"How're you feeling Abs?" Tony asked awkwardly.

"Can't anyone come up with anything else to ask me!" Abby exclaimed angrily.

"I'm sorry Abs. We're just concerned about you." Tony explained softly.

Abby shook her head in frustration. "There's nothing I want more, than to have people look at me the exact same way they did before all of this, but I know that won't happen. I made too many stupid decisions and too much has changed…"

"Abby… You're still Abby. And you always will be no matter what anyone else has to say about it." Tony said as he gently took her hand in hers. "None of this is your fault." He assured her softly, sensing what she was thinking. Abby's shoulders quivered in a telltale sign that she was about to cry. "Oh Abby."

Just then Ducky made his way back into the room. "Abigail are you alright?" He asked clearly concerned. Abby shook her head as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry." Ducky said, knowing what she needed to hear as he took the hand Tony wasn't holding in his.

"I don't want this." Abby sobbed.

"Of course you don't." Tony and Ducky assured her gently. "You didn't want this Abby. You don't deserve this."

"Abby!" Tim cried out as soon as he came back into the room. "Abby are you alright?"

Abby pulled her hands from Tony and Ducky's and wrapped her arms around Tim's neck. "I'm so scared." She whispered into his chest.

"Sweetheart." Tim said softly. "We're going to get through this."

Abby nodded softly before he pressed his lips gently to hers. "Are we going to open presents or something?" Abby asked as his thumbs wiped her tears off her cheeks.

Tim chuckled. "We could do that." He said softly. "I'll go get everyone." He said before getting up from his squatting position and heading out of the room to gather everyone else.

Ten minutes later people were situated around the Christmas tree. Tony and Ziva were sitting on the floor in front of the couch, Ziva lying on Tony's lap slightly. Behind them on the couch were Micah Adi and Leah. Leah holding Sienna in her arms while Adi tried to blow on the infants face. Gibbs and Ducky were sitting in armchairs on the other side of the room with Anastasia and Caitlin sitting on the floor in-between the two chairs. Abby and Tim toward the middle of the room, Ryan cradled gently in Abby's arms.

"Alright everybody." Gibbs said as he stood up and moved toward the pile of presents that had been compiled from various houses last night. "Let's find something for the youngest one first." He said as he rummaged around looking for something for Ryan. He pulled out a relatively small package and handed it to Abby with a smile.

Abby grinned a little bit as she carefully tore away at the meticulously wrapped package. She then quickly took off the lid to a white box and giggled. "Thanks Tony." She said as she pulled out several onesies, each adorning a different superhero logo.

Throughout the evening various presents were opened by all. Highlights including periodic table building blocks for the youngest Mcgee, a complete first British edition set of the Harry Potter series for Anastasia, an iPhone for Caitlin, huge amounts of clothes for the new David kids, a new computer for Mcgee, massive numbers of DVDs for Tony, an iPod touch for Ziva (this time with a shockproof case), a new set of golf clubs for Ducky, more than a year's supply of sandpaper for Gibbs, and finally a set of variously geeky cookbooks for Abby.

A chorus of thank you's were being sent around the room and smiles were to be had all around.

"Are you doing alright Abs?" Tim asked as he rubbed her leg softly.

"I'm tired." She admitted quietly. "And Ryan's starting to wake up." She added as she felt the bundle in her arms squirm a bit.

"Do you want me to hold him?" Tim asked gently.

Abby shook her head. "It's fine." She said as she adjusted the blankets in her arms so she could peer in on her son's face. "Hey sweetie." She greeted him with a kiss to the forehead. "How are you doing Ryan?" She asked rhetorically as his eyes opened.

"Should we introduce him to some of his new toys?" Tim asked with a smile as he picked up a small ring shaped rattle.

"Timmy he doesn't understand that yet…" Abby said gently. "Here, hand me the Harry Potter hat for him, his head is cold."

Tim looked over to the pile of clothes for his son and fished through it until he found a small beanie with the Hogwarts crest on it. "Do you want the Gryffindor blanket to go with it?" He asked teasingly.

"Tim you know how I feel about subjecting our kids to specific houses as newborns." Abby chastised. "Not until their eyes can actually see what's going on. That way if they feel like it's not for them they can express themselves."

"You know that's how Stace ended up being a Hufflepuff right?" Tim said teasingly. Abby rolled her eyes in response. It was moments later when Gibbs stood up.

"Alright everyone, Christmas dinner is in an hour, get cleaned up and be in the dining room then." He announced, before he, Tony, and Ducky quickly escaped into the kitchen.

Ziva stood up shortly after. "Alright, Mcgee and DiNozzo kids capable of walking up the stairs, let's go." She said and Caitlin, Anastasia, Leah, Micah and Adi followed her up the stairs, herself carrying Sienna.

"Okay kids, Gibbs wants this to be special for Abby and Tim, so we're going to wear nice clothes. For those of you who need the reminder, this means no running, jumping, or biting each other after you've been changed." Ziva said with a smirk before opening the hall closet to reveal several garment bags. She quickly distributed the bags to those who would be able to change themselves and had them go into various rooms to change. After that she pulled out Micah's suit, and Adi and Sienna's dresses.

She opened the smallest bag first to reveal a white cotton dress with poinsettias across the torso. Sienna squealed with delight as the soft fabric covered her skin when her mom put it on her. Next she pulled out Adi's dress, a red plaid dress with black fringe. Adi looked mildly uncomfortable as Ziva helped her change into the dress, but was soon enthralled when she found out her skirt would spin if she did. After that she helped Micah put on a white dress shirt, a red vest, and black suit pants. "You three look beautiful." She told them with a smile.

"I'm a boy." Micah protested.

Ziva sighed. "You look very handsome Micah." She informed him as she eyed his messy hair. "However we're going to have to brush that mane of yours."

Ziva was still fixing the younger kids' hair when the older girls emerged from the various room they were changing in. Anastasia came out first in a cap sleeved silk red dress with a large gold waist band. The skirt was embellished with flowers in a white-gold thread. Then came out Leah in a knee-length white dress, with a black belt just below the bust. Lastly Caitlin emerged in a black pencil skirt with a white v-neck cashmere sweater, with a red camisole underneath it.

"Looking good ladies." Ziva said with a smile of approval. "If you could manage to run a brush through your hair before dinner it wouldn't hurt though." She hinted and the three of them headed for the bathroom.

It was time for dinner and everyone was in the dining room except for Tim and Abby chattering excitedly amongst themselves about what they knew was coming.

"Alright everyone quiet down." Ducky insisted. "Gibbs is getting Abby and Tim from the front room." Several moments later Gibbs opened the swinging door into the formal dining room and Tim and Abby came in, Tim pushing Abby's wheelchair while Abby held her baby carefully in her arms.

Abby took one look at everyone and broke down in sobs, cradling Ryan to her chest.

Tim quickly knelt down next to her and whispered into her ear, carefully trying to calm her down. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Abby replied quietly. "I'm sorry." She said softly. "I'm just… very overwhelmed."

"It's okay Abs." Tim said gently before moving Abby to the table. "I love you." He whispered before sitting down in the chair next to her.

"Alright everyone dig in." Gibbs said and the serving spoons began to pile food onto various plates around the table. Chatter filled the room as the food was consumed.

"You okay Abs?" Tim asked, noting that she hadn't eaten much.

Abby shook her head to dissuade his curiosity. "I'm fine."

"Abs?" He tried again.

"I feel like I'm going to…" Abby started before she began to fade out.

Tim quickly scooped Ryan from her limping arms and handed him to Caitlin, who was sitting right next to him, before carefully moving Abby out of her wheelchair with the help of Ducky and Gibbs who had quickly made their way to that side of the table.

Ducky's hand immediately moved to her wrist to check for a pulse. "She has a steady pulse." He reported quietly.

Gibbs and Tim were working quickly to move her to a position that wouldn't disorient her when she regained consciousness.

"Come on Abs… Please…" Tim whispered softly as he ran his fingers carefully through Abby's un-plaited hair.

It took several minutes before Abby's eyes fluttered open, and when they did they were filled with tears.

"Oh Abby." Tim said softly as he pulled her gently into a hug. "I'm so sorry."

Abby shook her head. "Can we please go upstairs?" She asked him quietly.

Tim nodded and him and Ducky helped Abby up the stairs.

The table was very quiet for some time before Caitlin spoke up. "Is mom going to be okay?" She asked quietly trying not to let the tears building up out.

Ziva looked at her and felt her pain. "Oh Caitlin…" She said quietly as she moved to give her a hug. "I know it's hard." She comforted her best friend's daughter. "But you're going to be okay. You are amazing, and maybe not perfect… but you're Abby's baby girl. She fought so hard for you, and she's never going to stop."

Gibbs sat quietly across the table before he simply couldn't stand it anymore. "Is there really nothing else we can do here?" He asked furiously. "Suddenly the only thing we have to hope for is that the current medicine does enough for her?"

"Gibbs!" Tony said out of surprise.

"Tony we haven't ever just sat around while one of our own has been in this much danger. We can't just give up on Abby… we can't do that to her." Gibbs said angrily.

"Gibbs being angry about it isn't going to help." Ziva said softly. "I know you're feeling all kinds of things right now, we all are. But Abby doesn't need to know how much this is hurting us too. She has enough to deal with." As if on cue Ryan began to squirm in Caitlin's arms.

"Dad can't do it." Caitlin said softly as she looked down at her little brother. "I love him, but he doesn't do the parenting…"

"He'll be fine Caitlin…" Ziva tried to comfort her.

"He left me in the airport once! He dropped Stace down the stairs… And that was with mom taking care of us most of the time… He can't do it." She said as her little brother grabbed onto her pinky finger.

"He's going to have to be your father Caitlin… I'm sure Gibbs will help, but you and your sister are going to have to do everything you can here." Ziva said gently.

"No." Caitlin said suddenly. She carefully handed her baby brother to Ziva before darting from the room.

"CAITLIN!" Ziva cried after her and Tony took off after her, but he wasn't running at nearly the pace she was.

* * *

><p>Several hours later Tony arrived back at the Mcgee's house to an expectant group of people in the living room.<p>

Ziva quickly ran to give him a hug. Her arms wrapped around him and she whispered into his ear "Please tell me you found her…"

Tony simply shook his head, more upset at himself than anything else.

"She's scared Tony… and now she's lost in D.C. she's not safe out there." Ziva began to panic for her best friends' daughter.

"I know Zi." Tony replied gently.

"What can we do to help?" Gibbs and Ducky asked the couple gently.

"Caitlin's missing." Ziva reported.

"Anthony had no luck following her?" Ducky asked and Tony shook his head in response. "Oh dear."

"Abby and Tim don't need to know about this right?" Ziva asked Gibbs softly.

Gibbs looked at her and could see the tears hiding in her eyes, but he knew she'd never let them out. "Ziver… Caitlin is their daughter. They have to know."

It was at that moment Tim had approached the top of the stairs. "We have to know what?"

_**Author's Note: I'm very sorry this took so long to get up. I spent a lot of time sick and in the hospital and really never had time to write. But my health is under much better control now so I should be able to continue to update more frequently. I have another story I'm looking for someone to Beta so if you're interested let me know. Please review!**_


End file.
